Censorship is a critique, a complaint against the other, an assault disguised as words, is a monster that feeds on frustration and grows with resentment and anger, intends to change everything, but its only real goal is to unload tensions and destroy the other.
We often use censorship or clues to complain about something we don’t like about the other person and hope that this will change the way they act, however, these kinds of criticisms do not encourage change, but disqualifies the other person, making them feel guilty and helpless.
- Critics feel attacked and their immediate reaction is often defense.
- Anger or guilt.
- Like the wind that gradually wears out the stone.
- Critics dress the relationship between two people discreetly but continuously.
They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, however, in many cases what really reflects who we are, it is not the eyes, but our words, the sensors denounce the state of anger, frustration, incommunicado and management of others.
Its function is a mixture of emotional discharge and manipulation of the other, who does so throws harsh words with the intention of the other person changing their minds and doing what the critic wants, however, these messages usually produce few changes.
Its causes can range from small and insignificant actions to censorship on important aspects of the relationship. When they occur in isolation, they usually do not cause major difficulties; the problem arises when they become a habit, not an exception.
Sometimes they are small, subtle, but constant, such as the suffering of the drop of water that falls on the head the other day after day until it causes serious injury; Other times, criticism is limited and punctual, but lively and intense, and cause damage that requires time to be repaired.
Censors are often stereotypical, emotionally charged and repeated over time. They often refer to aspects of each other’s past or common actions, and focus on the person without the fact.
Censors are aggressors and are often accompanied by harsh words, which in their most extreme forms can ridicule, insult or threaten the other person, making them feel helpless, sad, guilty, underestimated or insecure.
The effect that occurs is usually the opposite: the more you complain and criticize something, the less likely the other is to change, which keeps people away, increasingly complicating change and communication.
Criticism and communication problems are often one of the main factors leading to the end of the relationship between two people. Censorship acts as a barrier and prevents the relationship from going smoothly.
If what happens to you is that emotions overwhelm you, you can use the other as support, not as a punching bag, even if it’s aspects of the other that cause you this frustration, you can count on it, tell it calmly and uncensoredly what you feel, what has bothered you and what you would like to see happen in the future.
Get the censorship in order. It’s not the same to say, “You’re always busy, it seems like you care less about me every day. “I feel like we haven’t spent time together lately, I miss you, do you think we could do something together?This week?
Here are some techniques for turning your reviews into less harmful messages:
Expressing yourself correctly does not mean that the other should agree, it is possible that even with good communication there are still aspects that you do not agree on or that you would like the other to change, however sometimes the encounter is not always possible.
Dialogue and change are much easier based on closeness and support than on distance and pain. While sometimes two people may disagree, it is always more comforting to turn the other into their ally than their enemy.