Missing someone is also part of our personal maturity. Feeling the permanent emptiness of an absence can become very corrosive. You have to learn to say goodbye, “let go? what hurts and despairs, because after all, this is all part of the life cycle.
We know the concept of Missing?However, we must be aware of a very curious and concrete aspect: the human being is an expert in “disappearing”; objects, situations, people and even abstract dimensions that we cannot define are missing. We talk about emotional and existential gaps, those complex inner worlds that sometimes put our mental health at risk.
“Someone said that oblivion was full of memories. ” Mario Benedetti?
“I miss the person I was before, when I was happier and had more hope, more dreams. “This idea, this feeling of recoil that many may have felt more than once in their lives, is what psychologist Robert Plutchik defined as “the desire of the past?”and also included it in his famous theory of the wheel of emotions.
We cannot forget that living in this subtle bubble with melancholy flavor generates a desperate craving for something we had or went in the past, in turn this desire translates into vulnerability and this vulnerability becomes fear and perhaps even the appearance of depression. , before we get carried away like an Ophelia, immersed in an aquatic world of pain, we must train ourselves in the art of separating and above all, how to miss it.
There is an invisible country: a parallel, inaccurate and immaterial world that we all go to at some point called “lost”. We turn the knob to enter every time a loved one leaves, when we leave behind a routine or activity that was very significant to us. We will live permanently in this country when we lose a loved one or when we have a deep dissatisfaction with ourselves.
In this vital hole, a cold wind is constantly called nostalgia: someone’s desire or something; in fact, as the word saudade itself says, it is difficult to breathe, because there is a hole in our hearts through which life gradually slips away from us. The country of? Miss, it’s a dark labyrinth where you never have to stay long, because as we go along, we forget the way back.
Living in this permanent exile plunges us into despair, a deep dissatisfaction with the present moment and the real world, so as not to be anchored in this parallel world, we must be able to make intelligent decisions in these moments of emotional complexity, in order to get out of this maze and realize that missing is part of life, but it is not a way of life.
You have to learn to close cycles: learn not to miss what we went yesterday, but to invest in what we can be today. We must learn to miss those who are no longer with us, but we must keep it in our hearts, while our Soul makes the decision to be happy again. Life makes decisions, putting one foot in front of each other to get out of those personal mazes where it’s unhealthy to be trapped is one.
Consider strategies that can be useful in these situations
“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, it means accepting that there are things that can’t be. “
? Miss? It places us in the middle of the territory of three powerful workhorses: desire, fear of loneliness and emotional vulnerability. There are three cunning enemies you need to know, control and learn to tame.
? Live the mess. When we miss and miss something or someone, we’re very confused, what am I going to do now?What am I going to do? Many sensations and emotions fall on us, we have to live them for a while, face them and let them go.
? Analyze emotional confusion. Addressing the suffering caused by this absence or the emptiness that occurs amid sadness is essential to analyze and fragment this emotional tissue that suffocates and dominates us.
? Melancholy, for example, can be overcome with new goals in the present; the fear of loneliness, in turn, can be overcome with the courage of those who begin to enjoy the company itself, while seeking the support of others.
? Emotional vulnerability is overcome by the courage of those who look at tomorrow with more courage than fear, in this way it will transform fear into resilience, that force that no one teaches us and that we discover every day with firm steps. or have the help of the people around you, but you have to assume the role of protagonist of your own story.
We must be able to take new directions in life without the shadow of that lack, absence, or emptiness that questions our choices. Human beings will always miss things, people, parts of an exceptional past. These are pages of our lives that we follow with great affection, but they are only chapters of a life, where many lines remain to be written.