Sometimes, in informal conversations or consultations, someone often complains about other people’s offenses and usually refers to the question of opinions. These affect the person and their way of relating, whether at work, in the family, socially and even in interactions with authorities or health professionals.
One of the main problems in interpersonal relationships is communication, whether professional, family, social or loving.
- Thus.
- A typical situation among couples is this: the husband comes home and.
- Noticing that dinner is not ready.
- Draws conclusions about his wife.
- Such as “spent the day with friends”.
- Faced with the husband’s argument.
- The wife reacts: “Do you think I’m stupid?.
In the professional field, we have an employee convinced that his boss disqualifies him from others, simply because he heard part of a conversation.
A person who usually complains of a bad relationship with others may experience anger, anger, sadness, bitterness or mistrust, among other negative emotions, can give aggressive responses to others or fall into states of depression and anxiety. problem, we see that part of it comes from how it is perceived.
The main mistake in people’s communication is the tendency to interpret or assume what the other said, giving it meaning beyond what was expressed and based on the emotions and beliefs of what they hear.
Distortions are often harmful ways of thinking, they are a violation of logical thinking and probabilities, among them we have speculation, generalization, maximisation, catastrophism, etc. , until we complete the 9 styles of harmful thinking, called cognitive distortions, in the cognitive. behavioral psychology.
Expressions and how to use them generally point to the climate involving communication, a well-known generalization among women is that all men are equal, this claim is generally very common in conversations about infidelity, but 2 or 3 people statistically represent billions. The men on Earth? A life is not enough to get to know each other one by one, so the objective analysis of this belief leads us to recognize a logic error.
When people are in a bad mood, they often interpret what they hear in the sense of that mood. The problem is not who speaks, but who interprets. We don’t need to be interpreted. Such conduct is based on the projection of the listener.
Thus, projections and distortions, with the ego, are a toxic cocktail that damages or interferes with communication; separated families, wounded, divorces and even murders were caused only by mental machinations tied up on a leash; unreal offenses are the product of this situation. How many novels wouldn’t have ended in two chapters if the two characters had spoken in time?
The self, in general, seems to vehemently defend the realm of reason, which distorts and interprets, giving meaning that words do not have, hear or allow reflection, since it relates the expression he has heard or the gesture he has seen with his personal appreciation and the false belief that it is perfect.
In many cases, people have a negative emotional impact on their thinking. In distortions, when a person is rooted in this harmful behavior, he or she may present “reference ideas. “You can listen to or listen to a conversation, a report, a radio interview and conclude that it refers to it, then paranoid thoughts arise: persecution, that others want to hurt you, that what happens is on purpose, etc.
1. Nets speculating. Ask and ask again if you don’t understand what you’re communicating. Don’t put words in the other person’s mouth.
2. No interpret. Our language needs no interpretation, the interpretations are subjective and are filled with the meaning given to them according to the beliefs and emotions that each one has.
3. Net generalize: each person is unique. We have free will, so don’t generalize. We are all different, even children raised in the same family.
4. Do not design
5. Take breaks. If you’re angry, disappointed, angry, etc. , calm down first and then ask yourself: what evidence do I have of what I think is right?
Don’t use reading in thoughts: no one can read someone else’s thoughts, even if you’ve known someone for a long time, it doesn’t give you the right to know your thoughts and emotions.
7. The purpose of communication is to establish a channel where transmitting our emotions, feelings and thoughts from one person to another, for this purpose active listening is positive.
8. Be empathetic: put yourself in the place of the other person. How would you like to be treated?The same goes for empathy. Give the other one what we’d like to receive.
9. Avoid catastrophism: always expect the worst, leading to anxiety.