This culture that fosters the obsessive pursuit of happiness is murderous. I’m just getting started. They offer us pills in the form of medicines or easy words, clinical methods and rituals, fragile solutions, failed manners, advertisements disguised as life lessons.
In the face of all this arsenal of smiles with which we are attacked everywhere, it seems that we are not satisfied all the time, that we do not have great dreams or great risks, that we do not conquer this or that, with which we suffer losses. , disappointments, wanting what has not been fulfilled or even not wanting anything at the moment, all this seems to be a mortal sin.
- So many models of? Perfection? That it gets us down our throats simplifying your life.
- Without big events.
- Without “nothing big”?Does it seem to be a big failure? And it’s your fault.
Anxiety robs us without comforting us. They are sinking us into a great void, we are inspired by ambitions that have sometimes never been ours, there is much difference between what inspires and what it imposes.
It is too dangerous to try to follow this logic as if happiness had a formula, a single way of being, as if it were a state of constant joy, there are those who are troubled by the crying of others because they cannot be sensitive to pain outside of their own, there are those who always find a positive view of everything and forget that their gaze does not sum up all the perspectives , there are those who do not endure the silence and inertia of each other’s moment, but we are human, we are full of failures, wounds, interrogations, ups and downs. We’re made of flesh, blood and excrement. We have the brightness and darkness to live every day.
It’s really great to joyfully face the challenges that arise or the inevitable routine that exists even in the space between adventures, it’s really great to laugh at your own flaws, common problems, our irrational expectations that stumble upon reality.
But this is not an obligation. We weren’t born smiling. We learn over time. We learn to know how we feel, the real importance of things, not to make a storm in a glass of water, to take the initiative of the unknown when the will is shy and discouraged, we learn so much ‘other things that seem empty because they are so trivialized, only if we experience all the nuances of the feeling itself. And because every experience is unique, learning to cope, how to handle yourself is a very personal thing. It is a long and slow road, full of stumbles and unforeseen events.
Maturity is not something that can get into anyone’s head, but grows with the body, which grows with all experiences and sensations, is born silent and works little by little until one realizes that it has flourished.
I am wary of formulas, with these harrowing prospects of success and improvement. Do you have to take one step at a time without worrying about being left behind?Your step doesn’t have to be the length of each other’s steps. It is necessary to allow yourself the anguish to understand one’s own anguish and what it means. Cry and experience the taste of your own tears to know all the materials that make up the soul. Downloading and complaining when you download and complain is what the heart asks for. those who are able to cope with their own pain listen to you and are not afraid to wake them up with their cries.
It’s not that this state should stay indefinitely in time, in fact, if that’s the case, something’s wrong, you have to let yourself help, ask for help if necessary, we need to help rather than just push. to drive away anyone who behaves like this, at least trying to understand that sometimes the difficulty of the person in believing in what we propose comes from that error of self-reliance that makes any impotence appear as a terminal illness.
But having failures, feeling bad, not being able to handle it all the time is a fundamental symptom of the human being, so much self-sufficiency, as they say in short paragraphs, will always lead to hunger. We feed on our contradictions, these struggles that we must resolve to overcome the stages of life, of every moment.
We feed on encounters, affinities, pleasures between us, but also conflicts, encounters, communication failures. Do we build with noise, with sweat, with debris? Long before the finishes and decoration. There are many things before you settle down, and even then, reforms are needed, don’t believe in the sand castles that sell you as if they were a solid refuge.
So much insistence on seeming inaccessible, impervious, to have a solution for everything and for all is megalomania, a desperate flight from the reality of being. Sooner or later, we all have to face our ghosts.
It’s better to do it gradually. It’s better to be fair when they show up, it’s best not to expect mold. We feel ashamed, we are frustrated, we feel fear, we feel anger, we feel sadness, we are villains and cowards. We can be that and more, what matters is just being without reflexes. Negative? It looks like learning, as part of life, as an impulse to seek other directions, are we forgiven?, we are human.
Whoever, for this reason, abandons us on the way, as if he himself were not to blame, believe me: it is better that it be so, he was never really there. We can also be the opposite of all this, feel the opposite, be half, feel half. We don’t need to be intense all the time to show our personality. We do not need anything that is imposed on us, perhaps innocently.
To be happy, to succeed is to face laughter and laughter, crying and crying, means to know how to be extreme and to be in the middle, is to have oneself as a criterion of comparison, it means to be whole and to be able to help, it means to be broken and to ask for help. It must be more than a recipe. This is what only you can define as being, and indefinitely, because you can discover another perspective tomorrow, and others throughout life.
It means being in your time, accepting your own heights, your own forms, your deep roots or their restless wings, your taste for the flock or loneliness. Rejecting our undventures doesn’t rule them out. Denying problems does not solve them, ignoring our flaws does not eliminate them and does not allow us to grow with them.
Like when we meet a new person, who in principle made us not love, and then we are able to laugh with him and our resistance at first.
It’s great when it’s spontaneous, when it’s authentic, but when it becomes an imposition, a daily simulation, sooner or later, we drown with everything we try to hide with those smiles. We don’t need it. It is normal not to be perfect, it makes us more human, also because we realize that the other is not, it brings us closer. It’s not a lack of self-esteem, it’s not a lack of self-love, it’s not so many other labels that exaggerate the rule: it’s quite natural.