When I think of jealousy, I cannot disconnect the association of that feeling with selfishness, both refer to a sense of possession, jealous and selfish people treat people and objects as if they were of the same nature, perhaps the difference lies in the fact that we associate selfishness more with feelings related to objects and jealousy more with people , but when one person treats the other as if he has possession of it, he makes that person an object and deprives them of all his humanity.
Some people see jealousy as a test of love, it’s a monstrous error of dimensions. Even the timid insecurity that we are all inclined to feel, the fear of losing something, it’s not about love, it’s about a conflicting relationship with oneself, the very idea of losing is tied to the idea of winning. And what do we get? What did we miss?Things, not people People don’t belong to anyone. They exist, are self-contained and choose. Winning and losing is about games, competitions, not love.
- If defining love on one side is dangerous.
- At least it is possible to think about how it manifests itself: taste.
- Pleasure.
- Affection.
- Admiration.
- Respect.
- Desire to be close.
- To be next door.
- To help.
- To be known and to know.
- It’s exchange.
- Encounter and recognition.
- There is no love that destroys.
- That deserves.
- That attacks.
- The fact is that love is never alone.
- It is accompanied by many other feelings.
- And in the midst of this cocktail of emotions.
- There may be those that are destructive.
- Is it worth saying it was for love? When relationships take a destructive turn.
- There has been a war of affection in which love has been won.
Of these emotions that destroy and desire to dominate all others, envy is probably one of the most powerful: the desire to have the other for oneself, to have the eyes of the other only in you, to have the affections of the other exclusively for you, to have dominion over the actions and emotions of the other. It’s jealousy. It is to nullify the other for all universes, to nullify it on its own, to become for him a god who dictates standards and must be worshipped. A selfish attitude.
The jealous wants to be the center of each other’s existence, he wants to be more important to the other than himself, he wants a test of love, a sick exclusivity. You can’t look around without being judged and everyone is in your sights too. Any affection from the outside to your “object of love,” however innocent, is harmful, malicious, destructive. The cement, if it could, would be closed in a bubble with its beloved object, so that nothing else in the universe could attract it.
It is mistakenly thought that the jealous revolves around his object of possession, which lives according to him, who does not see it, but actually revolves only around himself, without delving into himself, the jealous cannot love. His love is interrupted by a refusal to see beyond the surface itself. He says he loves, but does not want to love: in reality, he desperately lacks love, he wants to be loved with all his might, he wants to be admired. , wants to be affirmed, wants the other to provide him with his own inability to love himself.
In this thirst for love he is gated and imprisoned in the dungeon of his selfishness. There is no love that can resist a fortress that does not allow one to penetrate. For the jealous, everyone distrusts, everyone is enemies, everyone wants to deceive him, everyone is jealous of him, everyone wants what he has, there is no love that can withstand the tortuous and suspicious air first and foremosm and everyone, closed to the world, both closed and lost in himself. like this colleague who always looks, judges and criticizes what others do, but doesn’t do his job with zeal. For the jealous, love is always accused and guilty.
It does not cultivate love. He does not look at the other and see a person: he sees a potential traitor, jealousy is already betrayed in advance. He is incapable of cultivating friendships, because everyone wants to take advantage of him, he is incapable of taking advantage of a relationship, since it is premeditated to lead him to ruin, tortured by his ghosts, he makes no effort to win the company of the other. and all the feelings you want to please. Attribute to others, only to others, this function of loving. He is the guardian of love and wants to imprison him, not knowing that he already has him in custody in his darkest fantasies.
He does not seek to be a better person, more pleasant, more loving, authentic or otherwise, he is a prisoner of the irony of having in him what he seeks in the other, not giving what he wants to receive, not enjoying. what you receive. And on the other hand, what jealousy fuels in others is nothing but pride and vanity, among those who boast of being a precious trophy, since they are blind to their own humanity undermined by the cracks of the ego. cultivate jealousy and submit to jealousy; You will not experience any form of love, whether it is through friendships, romantic relationships, or even overrated family relationships.