One closes and does not listen to what the other says, the other screams. Do the two accuse each other without arguing? The main cause of arguments and fights is almost always the same: they are meaningless complaints and conflicts, but full of contempt and pride. We are talking, of course, about the lack of empathy.
Let’s think for a moment about the last time we had a more or less animated discussion, most of the time, when we started these dynamics that result from a difference, an attack or a critique, we try to show that we’re right. We want the other to understand our point of view and, above all, to acknowledge their mistake, their misconception or, if necessary, unfair.
- In addition.
- There is another circumstance that often occurs: practicing defensive behaviors.
- Entering a state in which we put on armor and.
- Above all.
- Seeking protection and attack.
- This happens in our relationships.
- In discussions in which one or both begin.
- To cast painful censorship and other low blows.
- While hiding in their respective positions of victims.
“Your mood is your destiny. ” -Heredoto-
Many of these fights would be resolved quickly if we exercised this magic word more skillfully: empathy, trying to consider each other’s reality and understanding it would humanize conflicts and even make them more useful, yet our mistake is almost always the same. : we get carried away by nebulous emotions and motifs that compromise the senses and establish insurmountable distances.
The main cause of arguments and fights is almost always the same: lack of empathy.
When we share a wish, we want to be understood. Now, when someone questions certain things about us, criticism or debate about our “truths,” we not only feel a clear threat, we also feel anger. It’s an imbalance in our emotional homeostasis and therefore it doesn’t take long to start a discussion.
If we take a look at popular literature on the subject of conflict, the first thing we’ll find is the classic article “How to win a 6-step discussion” or “How to win a discussion and emerge victorious”. We see our discussions as if they were battlefields, as if there were always a winner and a loser, so it’s time to correct that approach.
Just because this world is full of narcissists, people you can’t talk to, people who want to engage in arguments with us doesn’t mean there are so many fights and fights. These profiles exist, but do not define 100% of cases. The main reason for our disagreements is our lack of mutual understanding and lack of real, practical and useful empathy.
Once we understand the other person and realize their reality, we will be more willing to give in, more committed to this reciprocity to conclude enriching agreements.
People may think that all these things are just good intentions, because in life there is no shortage of these discussions that start from an unfair motive, a real complaint or a crime that must be defended with shelter and sword. situations, it’s good to understand yourself and put yourself in the other person’s place to realize that it may not be worth fighting. This can be a waste of time.
Empathy is the best starting point in any situation. See, feel and decipher the other, and then act.
We know that the main cause of discussions and fights is lack of empathy, how can we train them to avoid these situations and come to an agreement?Learn the following strategies.
The main cause of the discussions is the lack of empathy. Therefore, it is important to make an effort to get into the other person’s skin and resolve what happened.
In short, we must be able to forget the fury or pain of anger, in addition, we must know how to show the other that openness where empathy is felt, where an attempt to understand and conclude contracts is visualized, it can be said that this art is not easy, takes time and requires hard inner work, however, this effort can help us benefit more from our relationships.