Although first mentioned by a Dutch journalist in 1978, it was in 2000 that American researchers and journalists used the term LAT (Living-Apart-Together) to refer to those who have an intimate relationship and live apart, albeit living sporadically (weekends, holidays, holidays, etc. ).
Currently, models of interpersonal and family relationships are evolving. Are these types of couples likely to have been “invisible”?throughout history, but patterns of relationships that do not correspond to the traditional norm are emerging today.
- This series of changes.
- Especially LAT couples.
- Are among the most focused topics of family sociology.
- Some authors consider these couples as traditional models in which.
- For various reasons (difficult access to housing.
- Labor market or degree of commitment.
- Etc.
- ).
- Circumstances have led them to live apart.
Others, on the other hand, think that this is a new model of couple based on emotional freedom, individual and intimate, for them being a LAT couple is a personal decision, in these couples mutual commitment is maintained, although not sharing a house, this is different from what happens in traditional couples, in which coexistence develops over time , walking hand in hand with commitment.
Researchers want to find individual, demographic or cultural characteristics that allow them to better understand this type of relationship.
However, it needs to be contextualized in a society undergoing changes affecting relational models: fertility difficulties, difficulties in labour market stability, as well as growth in education and attention to gender equality.
Currently, new models are also emerging due to ideological changes: open relationships, polyamor, hybrids, swingers, etc.
We live in an age when even new technologies are redefining how we relate, how a relationship begins, the importance of distance, etc. In this sense, it is obvious that the notion of love and partner today has more than ever a subjective character.
This type of partner has been observed in all age groups, however, it seems that the reasons for maintaining a LAT relationship differ depending on the age of those involved.
Among 18- to 24-year-olds, the profile is usually that of students who still live with their parents, so the reasons why young people maintain this type of relationship are often out of their control (parental dependence, childcare responsibilities, educational behavior). , etc. ), would usually live with the couple if conditions allowed, so in this age group the main reason would be to be in a phase of transition towards greater commitment and subsequent coexistence.
For adults over the age of 30, LAT couples are a way to share intimacy while enjoying their own autonomy, so the intention to bring the relationship to a more traditional point (marriage or coexistence) decreases over time. In addition, the duration of relationships is much longer than that of young people.
Few studies have observed these relationships over time, however, members’ intentions for the future are often analyzed.
Some research indicates that between 20 and 30% of LAT couples stay together or intend to continue in the future, apparently this intention is related to age, with young people between 25 and 29 years of age more likely to end up living together and having However, those over 60 are the ones who most want to keep the relationship separate.
The problem also seems to have something to do with the length of the relationship, the intention to marry increases in relationships lasting around one to three years, while in relationships of more than three years the intention to continue in the same situation prevails.
In general, regardless of age, social pressure plays an important role in the intention of staying LAT or not, the fact that their family and friends think they should live together and ask questions or comments about it leads the couple to think about how to do it. in the years to come.
In short, LAT couples decide to maintain this type of relationship for two main reasons: lack of resources or voluntary choice of autonomy; it may also have been a choice to solve some of the problems or difficulties that might arise in common life. division of tasks or children of previous couples.
It is common for the main advantage to be in the preservation of autonomy and privacy, as well as to avoid possible losses (economic, other relationships, materials, etc. ). This will clearly be determined by the attitude and ideas you have towards the couple. or marriage.
On the other hand, this trend can also represent a number of disadvantages, especially for those who have an ambivalent attitude towards LAT relationships, in this case, the flexibility of these relationships can generate discontent or feeling of insecurity, because it was not wanted. living with each other, for example. In general, coexistence offers more opportunities for intimacy and instrumental and emotional support.
In short, this decision depends solely on the personal values and preferences and the motivations and circumstances of each couple.