The resolution of the usual daily conflicts is one of the skills that cause us the most headaches, where there are two human beings there is at least one conflict, this does not mean that people are bad or pretend to create problems, it is simply because two people never think exactly the same way.
Healthy relationships are not those in which there is no conflict, it is not a question of avoiding contradictions, but of knowing how to solve them, that is the true secret of good coexistence. And it’s not that hard, just have goodwill, patience, understanding, and be prepared to understand differences.
- “Listen.
- Give your opponent a chance to talk.
- Let him finish.
- Don’t resist.
- Don’t defend or don’t argue.
- He just erects barriers.
- Trying to build bridges of understanding? – Give him Carnegie?”.
Some conflicts are more common than others. We’ve compiled a list of these most common problems and it’s worth learning to solve them for a quieter life and healthier, smoother relationships.
This is one of the most common types of conflicts and occurs in case of communication interruption. The people involved do not have all the information about something, or have distorted or misinterpreted information, resulting in prevention, discomfort or injury.
To solve such situations it is preferable to dialogue frankly and directly, if you find that someone suddenly becomes hostile it is best to ask it directly and the same happens on the contrary, if you have a nuisance it is best to express it in an open and respectful way. Big problems can be avoided through assertive communication.
Sometimes hostility between two people is constant and insidious: one criticizes the other for everything he does or says, or perhaps they are still irritated or ashamed, so they are both aware of the constant discomfort.
Most likely, in these cases there is a fundamental conflict that has not been recognized and this translates into small and constant daily discussions, if you want to solve this situation you need to identify what is behind everything, then you have to solve this difficulty with the other without forgetting honesty and respect.
This is commonly referred to as a “conflict of interest”: when one person’s needs conflict with the needs of the other. For example, when we have to do a housework and those responsible want to rest instead of rest.
In such cases, the problem can only be solved by fair negotiation, which means that both must yield and reap profits, it is not so difficult to reach an agreement if those involved accept that ‘a bad deal is better than a good fight’.
Such conflicts are also among the most common, in fact, they do not appear because two people think differently, but become a serious problem when one or both try to impose their beliefs on the other and/or disqualify their ideas.
This is often the case with religious or political beliefs. In both cases, there may be a desire for proselytism, that is, what do one desires?Recruit the other on the side or in a group. To resolve such conflicts, it is sufficient to admit that respect for each other’s conscience is a guarantee that others will also respect what I think.
Power is a source of continuous conflict. Those who have the power are at the center of all kinds of criticism, some well-meaning and some not. The one who has no power receives its effects and often feels negatively affected by the other. In the field of power there are always tensions.
To resolve power conflicts it is more appropriate to adopt leveling mechanisms, this means that the person who has the power must create opportunities to listen and serve those who do not, this applies not only to the very powerful, but also to those who wield power in the family, school, work, etc.
Intrapersonal difficulties are related to conflicts that arise in an individual’s mind, there is not really an external problem: it is the person who interprets it, this happens, for example, when an anxious person cannot tolerate others doing something slowly.
People who live with someone affected by an intrapersonal conflict should be aware of the situation, most of the time they are not aware of it, they just need to show them that there are no conflicts, if this is done in a calm and respectful manner. , will probably have a big effect.
This is the kind of conflict where there is simply “no chemistry. “For one reason or another, one person has difficulty accepting the other. It’s kind of a free aversion, it’s not due to anything special. In these cases, you may be tempted to express this tension through continuous gestures of rejection.
While it is true that we do not need to love everyone, we have no right to reject someone for what they are, the characteristics of this person may be complementary to ours and we do not realize that, it may be necessary to simply take a safe distance and treat the other person with the consideration they deserve.
Conflicts in general can always be resolved through assertive communication. This does not mean secret or falsely courteous communication; we need to address the problem calmly and with respect to each other, if you know how to communicate properly, rather than resolve conflicts, you can avoid them.