Every day, anywhere and in all circumstances, we are exposed to all kinds of conflicts, to solve them it is necessary to think about what happened, to understand that each of us is a particular universe, that we can be wrong, even if that is not our intention, then you have to learn to apologize effectively.
Some people think apologizing is synonymous with weakness. In this case, pride becomes an obstacle that prevents them from doing so, although they know they have made a mistake, it is not about fixing it, but about hiding it, even if they know that they have failed, it is more important not to be vulnerable under any circumstances.
“A good excuse has three parts: “I’m sorry ??? How can I correct this mistake?Randy Paush?
Another obstacle to an effective excuse is the fear of each other’s reaction, we are not sure what each other’s response is, which is very scary, in this sense insecurity paralyzes us and prevents us from taking responsibility for our actions, error begets shame and shame begets inertia.
Recognizing that we make mistakes that affect other people is not easy, especially if you think a mistake is synonymous with failure, but admitting a mistake or mistake also includes an opportunity to improve, so the story changes.
In any case, in order to make an effective apology, it is best to speak personally with the person involved in the situation, if you wish, you can first write a message, to tell you that you recognize your mistake. we take a first approach, but this does not replace the need for a face-to-face conversation. Proximity is essential and, in this case, it shows that your repentance is sincere.
Before apologizing it is necessary to do a process of reflection on what happened, it is not always easy to see where the mistake is, is that what I did?Is that what I said, that’s how I was talking?How much suffering have I caused with this error or error?Answering these questions will further improve your apology.
It is important that you take the time to meet this person so that you can speak freely, your words will not convince anyone of your sincere regrets if you show impatience, and they can also make you feel that these excuses do not come from you. but are imposed by a circumstance or by someone.
In this case, being humble means that you understand that you have made a mistake, accept that error and are willing to make an effort to repair the damage done, the apology itself serves to make a symbolic remedy, but in some cases it is necessary to go further and compensate the other in a more concrete way.
However, remember that your posture and your gestures are elements of communication, and what they express can be a more sincere message than the one we build with words, your body language must match the message you want to convey, to effectively apologise look the other person in the eye and try not to cross your arms, in this way you will generate a more fluid communication and you will not break empathy by adopting a defensive position.
Try to convey warmth and confidence. You can achieve this through proximity to the body: a firm but friendly handshake, a touch on the other person’s shoulder or arm, or a brotherly embrace. Here are some alternatives. Of course, it all depends on what the listener looks like and the type of connection between you.
Once you have reached this climate of mutual closeness, you will have the opportunity to explain yourself, it is important to clarify what you think you have done wrong and make sure that the other person has also perceived it in the same way. what the other person is saying and explain to them how they plan to correct their guilt. Your generosity and courage in dealing with this situation will be the best guarantee that your apology will be accepted.
Images courtesy of Brandon Kidwell.