Without a doubt, ending a relationship, whether it’s a court or a wedding, is a very stressful event. And it’s not for less, because every member of the couple invests a lot in that relationship; not only on an emotional level, but also socially and even economically, but there is one factor that makes the difference between natural pain and inherent in all ruptures and devastating suffering, this factor has nothing to do with what the other has done or has not done. done; it is how strong the foundations of love, self-esteem, self-care and self-pity are.
We think we are in love. Our heart races in the presence of this special person, we appreciate their company and, in addition, the chemistry that exists between the couple is incredible, but, in the name of this love, little by little we begin to abandon our own needs and desires or, On the contrary, we begin to control the other to submit to our own desires and needs, and although they seem opposite behaviors, in the end the motivation is the same: wanting the other to fill a void of affection. that one ends up creating in oneself.
- This dance.
- Control and control can be maintained for a while and.
- In some cases.
- For many years.
- But one day.
- The very essence.
- The healthy and authentic part that we have in ourselves.
- Ends up having difficulty getting out.
- And then does bitter resentment occur or does the relationship cool down.
- Deteriorating to the point where the inevitable happens?.
This intimate connection that is established between two people makes us, in a way, vulnerable and, therefore, repeatedly, during a rupture, “demons” such as insecurity, the complex of inferiority, dependence, desire for revenge, hatred and resentment. this hell opens up a great opportunity to confront and exorcise these demons, to be able to heal wounds and evolve in our personal growth, it all depends on how we deal with these demons.
Ignore them: we can avoid facing our pain and unsalted wounds in many ways: being busy not to feel, eat, watch TV, surf the Internet, blame others, feel angry, take refuge in alcohol, etc. The result? The pain and wounds are always there, just asleep, ready to leave the next chance they have and, of course, it’s practically a guarantee of failure in an upcoming relationship.
– Attend: As painful and sad as it may be at first, we must allow ourselves to feel our negative emotions and accept that they are there, with compassion and understanding of ourselves. In this space of love and acceptance of our “dark side”, paradoxically, we end up illuminating it, as we begin to heal and care for our emotional wounds.
The result? By being able to love ourselves unconditionally, we no longer rely emotionally on others, and by learning this, our next relationship will have a greater chance of being more balanced and happy.
Instead of going crazy looking for explanations for the end, we must focus on listening and listening to the demands of our heart, this, of course, will mobilize us to do the right thing to get out of grief, such as adopting attitudes that can heal, such as gratitude; We can get involved in activities for our personal well-being, such as physical exercises, psychological help or attending personal growth meetings, and although the pain of the end is present for a time, it will act as a channel for our healing and personal growth, instead of making us fall into suffering.