When we finish a chapter, a little story ends; When you say goodbye you write a small ending, everything that we have not finished will continue to move away and will continue to repeat itself, until we manage to write a point, through a grieving process, to start again on another page. .
Grief is defined as the process of emotional adjustment that follows any loss. A loss doesn’t necessarily indicate a death. Although this is the strongest relationship that the collective unconscious makes, does a loss also refer to separations, changes in employment, changes?
The different stages of grief proposed by Dr. E. Kluber Ross are
These phases are not the same for everyone, nor do they occur in the same order and do not have a specific duration; They are only indicative, the important thing in this division to deal with a person who is in the middle of the grieving process is to know that at each stage we will find someone with a different disposition in the face of that duel. define the tools and tasks we can offer that person.
Any process that does not end properly tends to be repeated, stagnated or reversed, all the defects that we see in others and that we ignore or close without treating them take us in the same direction, because we need to feel the pain of loss, because we need to see what we feel, we need to extract the energy that surrounds anger and then integrate that sadness as an acceptable part of ourselves.
If we do not carry out this closing process, all we will do is get dressed, without healing the bleeding wound, so that we can only cover only superficially what hurts us, until we touch this wound again.
In the book “O Caminho das L-grimas”, Jorge Bucay explains this sentence:
To suffer is to turn pain into something chronic, is to transform a moment into a state, is to cling to the memory of what makes me cry, that does not allow me to stop crying, forget, surrender or let myself be rid of this thought, even if the price is my suffering, a mysterious fidelity to the absent. ?- Jorge Bucay-
The pain that we must feel is a healthy emotion, it is the feeling that it heals us, connects us with our interior and helps us to face loss, it also brings something, because it gives us time for ourselves.
No emotion to the right extent is dysfunctional and, therefore, losses cause sadness, pain, estification, anger, etc. , are steps, and when they last longer than necessary or when they hurt or prevent them from going on for a long time, it is time to ask for help, when sadness becomes depression, anger in unwarranted aggression, estification from personal carelessness or heartbreaking pain , then yes: something fails in this healing process, we do not go the right way to tears and we must seek help.
“The grieving process allows you to find the place your beloved deserves among the treasures of your heart. It’s remembering it tenderly and feeling that the time you spent with him was a beautiful gift. It is to understand the heart, in the hand that love does not stop at death. -Jorge Bucay-
Knowing why a stage ended and what positive thoughts I can get out of it, what didn’t work, what I could have done better, helps me get to know myself and know what I can do to improve. I want to stay or what I would have done better.
The grieving process leads me to a particular unholyness, as it marks the end of a story, it is not a passive process, it asks each of us, our emotions and actions, our will and our strength to move forward and start over. It takes a personal job to write a good ending and start the next chapter with what you have learned and enjoyed.