In life we must learn to be understanding and sometimes adapt to others, but we must also learn to say no.
Each of us has to maintain some flexibility, but there are people who, for different reasons (such as lack of self-esteem), give in so much that they end up collapsing, what happens to most people is that they don’t know how to say no.
- While offering help and being generous to others are highly recommended attitudes that bring many benefits.
- It is also important to know how to prioritize and look at yourself.
In other words, it is good to be flexible, but not on the verge of rupture to always please others and put them above our desires.
When we don’t impose limits, we don’t respect each other in any way, it’s like we’re invisible to ourselves and the rest of the people can decide for us, in fact, our self-esteem diminishes and our inner feelings are deep. Loneliness and failure often appear.
When we like others and don’t do what we really want, we feel bad about ourselves, in fact, we’ve come to believe that we’re worthless, that we have no qualities or potential, and little by little our self-esteem begins to weaken. .
When we always do everything for others, when we are not honest with them, nor with us, in relation to what we want and do not want, we end up feeling an inner loneliness that deeply saddens us.
We think that in reality no one loves us for who we are, but only for what we do, in fact, with this kind of behavior, we are helping to achieve it, after all, how are they really going to know us if we do what other people want?
“The most important thing I learned after 40 years was to say, “Right?Gabriel García Marquez?
Doing what others ask of us comes at a price: giving up our desires and aspirations, this leads us to continually feel a sense of failure for what may have been, but was not, because of the accumulation of broken dreams and lost expectations. , we must avoid collapsing by being flexible.
Saying is not essential for us to take care of ourselves and impose limits, practice self-love, and start valuing ourselves, even if it is difficult, we should not let time pass without being able to express it. be of great help:
No one will agree with everything you do or say, when assimils this will lose the fear of being accepted and you will feel much freer, face the fear of criticism and be yourself, everyone else says that they are just opinions.
“Is a person as vulnerable to criticism as the flu?Friedrich Derrenmatt?”
If you know it’s going to be hard for you to say no, imagine the situation you’re going to face, if you know they’re going to ask you something, think about how you’re going to answer What are you going to discuss?
You’ll feel much more relaxed when you’ve already trained and thought about what might happen, however, keep in mind that circumstances don’t always happen as you imagine.
You don’t have to justify yourself when you say no, explain yourself succinctly, be sincere and courteous. A simple, I really don’t want to, that’s more than enough.
We are often confused by so many thoughts. ” And now, what am I going to say, “What excuse am I going to give?”How am I going to say no? We started spinning in circles in this thought as if we were a mouse on a wheel.
However, there is no need to think so much about this, it gives the relevant explanations and that will suffice. By paying close attention to the topic, you can only generate anxiety that hurts you.
When we want to please others all the time, we do things that we often don’t want to do. Learn to love yourself, do the things you want, and not spend so much time on others and little time on yourself. Do you take such care of the rest and so little of yourself?
If you always seem very accessible, you don’t help others stop seeing you as “the one who always helps. “To do this you must reject proposals that you are not interested in, or simply indicate that you do not have time. .
Sometimes it helps to pretend to be distracted, because without necessarily having to say anything to others, they will realize that you too can say no.
Whoever you are and whatever you do, you have to learn that not everyone will like it, when you think about this and put that belief in your mind, you will feel more relieved and you will not give much importance to what others say about you. .
As a famous proverb says, “well-understood charity begins with the person himself. “Remember, because you represent the most important thing. If you don’t like it and don’t care, no one will do it for you.