When a person goes through a difficult situation, the last thing he wants is to listen to the advice that asks him to ignore what happened, to belittle him or her, to belittle her, that there are worse things to fear, what a person needs is understanding and comfort. , without minimizing suffering.
Most of us have experienced a great loss, a painful new one, an un manageful illness or a situation that affects us gravely, what we expect from others at the moment are not phrases, but attitudes that allow us to feel understanding and support. .
- We act incorrectly when we try to alleviate the situation.
- Thinking that in this way we will help the other to ease their burden.
- This attitude shows a lack of empathy and may even seem aggressive to those on the other side.
- Way to diminish or eliminate other people’s feelings.
- Which are legitimate.
- The worst part is that we usually trivialize other people’s pain to preserve our own tranquility.
An anguished person, most of the time, just wants to be listened to carefully, without judging, listening, in itself, is the best way to comfort those who suffer, to know that someone is willing to accept this suffering, without questioning it, relieves pain.
Some people simply don’t want to talk about what’s wrong with them, all they want is for others to respect their silence, in those cases it’s always good to avoid referring to the issue that’s a source of distress, it’s a way of understanding and accompanying them. Your attitude will not be interpreted as indifference, quite the opposite.
There are no formulas designed to comfort a suffering person, each has a particular way of assuming his own pain, just as that same person will not always experience suffering in the same way in all circumstances of life.
The only condition to effectively comfort the other person is to have a real disposition, to comfort means to offer loving companionship, respect and support, the important thing to do this is to demonstrate, through gestures and attitudes, that you are there, that the pain of the other does not bother you and that you understand it.
Don’t be afraid to explicitly ask the other person if there is a specific way to help, sometimes there are needs that are not so obvious, or we don’t give importance to certain actions that can be decisive for those who are directly involved in a difficult situation.
On the other hand, comforting an adult is different from comforting a child. Can the act of comforting children be easier for young children?Because just touching them is more of a bodily job? Says psychotherapist Irmtraud Tarr; then the two brains synchronised.
The most important thing, in any case, is to open the heart to the feelings and needs of the other person, it is a great comfort to know that someone is willing to understand us in a certain situation, to comfort is an art, and all art requires sensitivity and commitment.