Are we really looking for balanced relationships or are we looking for the unreal love stories we see in movies and books?This brief excerpt below is an example:
Two strangers are on a train. They look at each other and love appears instantly at first sight. A set of constant discrepancies separates them. Both families are against this relationship. At work, they are sent to live in remote villages. But in the end, one of the two gathers courage and manages to resume the romance. They stay together at all costs. And the two end up happily ever after.
- Do you recognize this story? This could be the setting for any romantic movie that comes out each year.
- However.
- Do these stories correspond to a realistic idea of what love is? Do they foster healthy and balanced emotional relationships or do they create damaging and dependent relationships?.
“Never above you, never beneath you, always by your side. ” – Walter Winchell-
First of all, it is important to be aware of the ideals of romantic love with which we have lived since childhood, it may seem silly, but we are very influenced by the songs, stories, films and television series that convey unrealistic ideals about the molds of an affective relationship. Stories where our society, as a transmitting company, also acts as an accomplice.
“Love does not claim property, but gives freedom” – Rabindranath Tagore-
As we get older, we learn what it means to be in love and what to expect when it happens, and you can also imagine how to behave or that can be interesting, for example, who said thin people are the most attractive?In fact, it hasn’t worked in the last few centuries.
In reality, culture and education have an obvious influence on the types of relationships, so it is important to change current standards, who spread the idea that in the field of love everything is allowed, but influence is not limited to that. Usually the idea that is transmitted is that when one falls in love, this feeling will be eternal and everything must be done for this passion so that the relationship does not end up failing.
That person who represents our soul mate?So what ends up happening is that the person does anything to keep that partner by his side. And, instead of balanced and healthy emotional relationships, harmful relationships arise where emotional dependence reaches extreme limits. Everyone has to put aside their past life completely and they both have to do almost everything together. Is it love?
In this type of relationship, the well-being of the couple comes first. Jealousy ends up waking up and also leaves friends and family alone to spend more time and exclusively with the loved one. These harmful addictive relationships only create discomfort in all areas of daily life and can even become situations of abuse. For this reason, it is very important to replace these beliefs in romantic love with more realistic ones.
“No one in a relationship needs to feel that to make it viable, you have to let go of an essential part of yourself. “-Mai Sarton-
Thus, in order to achieve balanced relationships it is important to try to adopt egalitarian behaviors and have good manners, we must realize that when we are in love with another person, we do not merge with him and become a unique being, all of us. continues to have their rights and needs, which do not need to be addressed solely by this emotional relationship.
It makes sense that we feel comfortable with the couple, even having moments of intimacy and complicity together thanks to the trust established by the loving bond, the difference is that it is not necessary to do almost everything together, that it is possible to have independence in balanced emotional relationships.
Therefore, it is important to be able to set healthy limits, on the one hand, to stimulate the trust and openness of the couple and, on the other hand, the autonomy, the responsibility of each member and the time to be with other people. or alone. It is a matter of giving, but also of knowing how to receive, of finding a balance where everyone feels good individually or in an emotional relationship because love is also something you learn!
Images provided by Anthony Mapp, Ezra Jeffrey and Jen Palmer.