Let yourself be loved, because beautiful and authentic love does not harm or betray, nor does it know what tears are, the love that gives us joy is that offered with open eyes and an enthusiastic heart, it is a mature and conscious relationship where empty spaces are not filled or selfish loneliness is relieved.
If we think about it for a moment, we will realize that the classic idea of “the one who likes you will make you suffer” has its roots in our popular culture. It’s something that’s wrong. Pain and love are two very different things, because the sincere relationship based on reciprocity will never have a toxic or toxic additive in its composition.
- John Gottman is one of the best experts in romantic relationships.
- In one of his books he explains that the secret to making a relationship lasting and happy is knowing how to please.
- With this.
- The emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Washington.
- Highlights the need for the bride and groom to help each other.
- Show a sincere interest in each other and.
- Above all.
- Create shared meanings and values.
Therefore, pain has no place or meaning in relationships, we invite you to think about it.
One of the most noteworthy characteristics of these people who manage to establish a sentimental relationship based on respect, joy and growth, is that they are able to love as if they had never suffered before, without ever moving the pain of previous relationships to the new one. Relationship. There is no mistrust or bitterness.
But the truth is that we also find people convinced that love really hurts them, and that’s because their past experiences have taught them that. We’re talking, of course, about the love. In fact, according to a study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology, at the end of a romantic relationship or disappointment, our brain reacts in the same way that it reacts to physical pain.
To deal with these delicate situations, an interesting approach is currently emerging, based on relational neurobiology, whose main starting point of this theory is that our brain, thanks to neuroplasticity, is able to heal these wounds, these marks of pain.
If we could rebuild the tissues and further strengthen those neural connections affected by the pain of emotional trauma, we could certainly achieve a healthier internal balance.
The theory of? Interpersonal neurobiology? (IPNB) was developed by psychiatrist Dan Siegel. According to the author himself, the best way to heal these neural circuits affected by the vulnerability or discomfort behind a sentimental failure is to practice meditation.
Preferring a state of calm where one reconnects with oneself is a very appropriate way to find that balance point that makes us understand that what hurts is not love itself, but our actions and reactions. Our ability to know how to make each other, as John Gottman tells us.
What hurts is heartbreak and never loving capital letters. What saddens and regrets us is the lost battle, the tiredness of an empty heart, without hope. Does this happen when you no longer trust him? I promise I’ll change?or “I’m sure things will be different from now on. “
We must completely reject those who sell us love with a taste of tears, who try to convince us that the authentic learning of life comes with suffering, and that we must all, in a certain way, experience it so that we can be born again, born. . Oh seriously.
The truth is that happiness also teaches a lot, because for the sake of capital there are no offensive accents, no tiny ones full of ego, fears and suspicions, the affection that is beautiful does not hurt or does not seek hurts, and if at some point the smile is weak and the look down, the other person will seek the reason for this ephemeral cloud and drive it away forever.
As Erich Fromm reminded us, love is first and foremost an act of faith, we could also see a leap into the void, where if no one assures us that everything will be all right, we have no doubt of taking any chances, always offering the best of us. please us and let us please.