Yesterday she was born and today, within a few hours, she will start college, yesterday I was told that I was going to be a father, in a short time she was crawling and a few minutes ago she was in her first driving class. I looked at us like the one who looks at the gods and today as the one who looks at people whose faults she knows in depth, in the middle of her spent a night, a night when I thought stunned, watching her grow. Up?
Growing up sometimes, because other times I had to go to work. Other times, your brothers needed me, my children; my friends or relatives your mother, I also sometimes needed me, I was late home or I couldn’t think of any history, so I left the time of the stories invented to begin to experience how reality can be infinitely crueler, in the same way that it can be much more charming.
- I was very hopeful yesterday.
- Hopes that were all mine and that she hadn’t said anything about.
- At least nothing more than pointing at the glass when you were thirsty or filling your mouth with what you had in front of you when you were hungry.
- That she built hers and I had to accept it.
- It was a process that lasted all night.
I’d like you to be a lawyer. Because I understand that they are people who lead a comfortable life, who occupy an important position and who, through their formation, acquire a sense of justice superior to most mortals. However, she wanted to be a journalist.
But not those who break the news, but those who travel, tell wars and give voice to these great stories that are also anonymous, scares me so much that sometimes it won’t let me sleep. Meanwhile, she looks at me with this face that she fell in love with someone without even knowing it, but with her heart. As a father, that look, your look, I’m so proud of you.
As a father it was not easy to give in to control, I have always seen her smaller than she really was, more vulnerable, influential and innocent, I also saw how many times she went to the precipice with all the determination of the world. and I had to let him do it, because as much as I would have liked to be his best teacher, there are lessons that only life teaches or that you have to learn from others.
She’s so beautiful, so beautiful, a liar. I don’t know if she knows, but she’s the cutest girl in the world, she used to say this several times and smile at me, then she blushed and in the end she’d answer me with a “daddy!”(don’t embarrass me).
It is difficult for me to understand this battle that began against her body, to recover from my memory those moments in which I also cared a lot about what boys and girls my age thought. Understand that to understand, many times you have to remember, because in this I also found exercise with nostalgia, and my eyes filled with tears.
The discomfort that could cause me to go to school with this horrible coat, sewn by hand in my mother’s dull moments and stinging like hell, I don’t know what coat I sent her to wear, maybe there were several, maybe those were. conservatory classes that I forced her to participate in, until her disinterest in music ended with my desire to be friends with criminals and cheaters, I couldn’t make her love her, scratch in front of me and comfort me thinking it was good for her.
Now, if I had to do it again, I don’t think I’d force you to do so many good things for you, at least from the outside, without sharing them with you. I would have liked to see miraste. la ball when you were little and you played football with you. He had been less aware of the dangers and more of the illusions. I had agreed to play before I left and found other girls to do it with.
I would have liked to understand before that you were perfectly able to protect yourself when you were cold, to eat when you were hungry. Because those were the needs you had at first, but not anymore. So you needed an incentive for all the projects you started, answers to all your old questions, the company of someone who wasn’t a director, but support, peace of mind. Maybe that was part of the role I played, maybe that was part of being a father.
Are emotions said to be magical? And that human beings can have so many things that we are able to feel multiple emotions at once. I’m sad because part of the time we don’t spend together will never come back. All parents feel the same way at some point in their lives, but that doesn’t comfort me.
However, what comforts me is that now, when I see you fighting your own battles, I’m proud that you’re facing them honestly, because you decide them, whether they’re good or bad decisions, and because you’re the one you have. found with passion. When I saw you grow up, I realized that I wanted an easy life for you and that you wanted a happy life for yourself. I just hope you can do it, and of course, share it with me.
Images courtesy of Soosh.