There are many ways to lie and we can find many justifications for its use, this can be very useful on some occasions: it takes us away from problems, diverts attention and frees the mind, it is another way of dealing with a situation that we have. I don’t know how to fix it.
However, it is a measure we can call “short-term”. This can help us in difficult times or when we don’t want to give the right explanations, but over time it becomes a trap for our self-esteem. their consequences on relationships with others and with ourselves.
“A lie would not make sense if the truth is not perceived as dangerous.
-Alfred Adler-
Lying can be exciting. Often, it is only adult misdeeds or forbidden things that can bring us benefits at first. Lying, cheating is something that, if it wasn’t useful, would no longer exist. Here are some reasons why we lie:
? Self-demand and self-deception
? Meeting the expectations of others
? Distorting reality to fit what’s right for us
? Avoid punishment or shame
? Trying to look like what we’re not
? Get the admiration of others
? Don’t worry about our loved ones
? Deceive a friend who asks us for a favor
? Attract attention
In these reasons we find something in common: fear, it can be fear of reality, the situation or encountering oneself, fear is always linked to lies.
Lying may be another tool, something that frees us from problems, but it’s not a solution, does it provide relief and release of anxiety in the present moment, but in the long run?
However, although we know the consequences, we continue to lie: when a man wants to prove that he is strong and powerful, or when a woman pretends to care about others, he is trapped in a network of lies from which he cannot escape.
This, in most cases, will have several consequences on feelings and thoughts, from the deepest to the shallowest examination of consciousness. Among other things, you can feel:
? Fault
? Social responsibility
? Anxiety
? Escape from yourself or the situation
Do we value the time we waste with this lie as a waste of time?
Lying is something that consumes the lying one. It’s very hard to lie.
We have to work hard to hide, manage situations and hide to support lies. The person who lies is exhausted, feels guilty and cannot get out of this situation.
“I don’t lie, I omit,” “filter and select information. ” Those behind these famous phrases should know that there are two fundamental ways to lie:
? Hide: We try to escape guilt by telling us that we omit information and that it is not the same as inventing a story, however, in the eyes of the psychology of lies, this strategy belongs to the same concept of deception.
? Invent or forge: in this case we change the information, this type of fraud leaves the person trapped, because it has to feed that lie, you will always have to tell the same story, and it costs a lot to put It is necessary to have good memory and mental agility.
“He who lies does not calculate the heavy burden he puts on, for he must invent an infinite number of lies to support the former. “
-Alexander Pope-
As we said, lying is an opportunity at the heart of our self-esteem. Lying is a burden that distresses us; At first, it is easy and comforting because it gets good results, but in the long run it becomes difficult to handle.
Reality is distorted and the one who lies is lost in this false world that was built on lies and lies. The worst thing is that this situation hides its virtues; people only know their lies.
“The greatest punishment for the liar is not to believe it, even when he tells the truth. “
-Aristotle-
When lying becomes pathological, psychologists call it “fantastic pseudology. ” There is a well-known case, like that of Tania Head, who presented herself to the world as a victim of the September 11 attacks and became president of the World Trade Center Survivors Association. .
Have we all lied at any point in our lives: out of necessity, pity, emotion, danger, friendship?Lying may be a resource, but there are limits that tell us whether to lie or not. Ask yourself: do I feel good lying? Am I hurting anyone?Everyone knows what they want and where they can go.