Emotional self-regulation: Others only show the location of your wound
Expectations do not allow us to live in freedom, accepting the course of things, because we believe that because we want something real, whether it be approval, perfection or convenience, it must necessarily happen. The reality is that everything that must happen will happen, whether we agree or not.
- People sometimes intend to play the fantastical role of deity.
- Do we think badly using? For us.
- Others and life in general.
- We say things like.
- “Should my boss treat me well and not yell at me?”Should things always go well.
- And with little effort?or “I have to do my job right because otherwise it means I’m worthless.
- “What do we think we are? Judges.
- Who can say what it should or shouldn’t be?.
When we live in the hope that life will work the way we want it to, that things will go the way we want, or that others treat us the way we think we deserve, we are in fact slaves to what we expect.
Living with expectations weakens us emotionally, because we expect things to go the way we want them to and it won’t always be like this; in fact, in a considerable percentage of times life will take a different turn than expected and there will be no alternative, but accept it as calmly as possible.
If we don’t train well to get out of expectations and accept what’s coming, we run the risk of suffering a lot, being depressed and full of anxiety, everyone chooses what they prefer, because everyone has their own emotional state.
The key is to learn the difference between what is controllable and what is not, I cannot control the thinking or attitude of others, nor the circumstances of the world and life, however, I can control how I relationship with it, how I think. and how to deal with it.
When we try to control the uncontrollable, obviously we are frustrated because what we want will never happen, our scope comes down to doing things the best way we know, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be rewarded, or that everything will happen. according to our expectations and desires. We need to get this absurd idea out of our heads and start accepting reality.
Think, for example, that one day someone said to you, “The sky should be apple green, why do I, because I love this color and hope that one day it will be?What do you think? I would certainly think that it is not very well in the head, that it has an absurd desire, that it will never come true for the simple reason that it is impossible.
Similarly, when we maintain expectations in our lives, with our own affairs, we impose and demand what it should be, when it will not be, nor should it be.
When you realize that expectations come to mind and that your internal dialogue contains a “should,” remember that you’re not a God who can change the progress of things, you’re just a human being like any other who does his best. , but it won’t necessarily make everything better, nor will it make life fairer.
You may also wonder, who said things should go well for me?Where is it written that this person should treat me the way I deserve?Can I control the behavior of others one way or another?What’s the use of thinking that the world is bound to satisfy me and hope so?
When you find the real and rational answers to all these questions and change your internal dialogue to?I’d like to, but maybe I don’t and I don’t need it?Or ‘I don’t expect Beltrano to bring me a present for my birthday, but would it be great if I did?, do you realize you’re much stronger and freer.
You will disconnect from irrational expectations, rigidity, grandiosity and begin to accept what the Universe has prepared for you, sometimes you will like the result, sometimes you do not, but that is life.
If everything were always pink and as we wanted, this living thing would have little fun, there is no joy without sadness, satisfaction without disappointment, success without failure, to feel the tingle that produces the scope of an expectation, we must experience frustration and tolerate it.
Start relaxing today! Write down all your expectations, for you, for others, and for the world, and start changing them, you’d like them to be met, but it’s not obligatory and no matter what happens, you’ll accept and support them. Practice a more mature and stronger experience. internal dialogue and you will win.