When a person assumes, understands and internalizes that he deserves to be happy, life finds a way, days orchestrate new opportunities, locks open and enemies become statues of salt that the wind carries with him, nothing can stop us when we see that we deserve joy and that no one else has a voice to put fears in our will.
Emily Dickinson was right that people ignore her own height until she stands up. Most curious of all, it is often the education itself, society and the people with which we live that we generally prefer when we are seated, when we are sumissive, calm and obedient.
“If you do what you don’t owe, you must suffer what you don’t deserve. – Benjamin Franklin-
In fact, this is exactly what happened to the Massachusetts poet, for whom disappointments, fears, and sorrows ended up isolating her in her room, in Amherst’s family home, becoming a weak shadow, a skinny figure that neighbors could see. Of his 1,800 poems written, he saw only a few published and among the people who were part of his life, he loved only one, but none were brave enough to take the first step.
There have been other times, of that there is no doubt, in other mindsets it becomes clear. However curious it may seem, the complex world of emotions, insecurities and lack of self-confidence is a refrain that never goes out of style, it is like a moviola that never stops, that brings us the magic of a situation and releases it, which teaches us what happiness is and gradually removes it , leaving us with will, wounds, remembrance and repentance.
The repentance of not having dared to do “something else”, not to fight, not to feel worthy of this unique opportunity in life, not to have gathered enough courage to fight for this lost love?
Ana started going to the gym because she wants to lead a healthier life, she goes every day from 7pm. until 8 p. m. , but he still smokes two packs of cigarettes a day. Carlos lost his job nine months ago. He goes out every day to give CV, but when he gets home he starts to eat compulsively, so much so that his physical change is quite striking. Marta ended a very convulsive romantic relationship a month ago and has since obsessively accessed the dating pages on the Internet with the idea of finding the “perfect match”.
All these examples can be summed up in a central idea that we all know: as we seek balance in one area of our lives, we go back to another in a disturbing way, it is as if we do not fully understand that we deserve a better one. life and this often leads us not to take care of ourselves in a more complete and comprehensive way Why are we doing this?Why don’t we take full control of our reality to achieve well-being?
We must seek the answer to this question not only in our past, but in the inability to take care of ourselves, to stimulate psychological well-being and, above all, to manage our own emotions. In the three examples cited we have seen that each performs specific actions: one goes to the gym, the other looks for work every day and the last ends a regrettable and complex relationship.
But does the rest of the behavior shape such common black holes: anxiety, uncertainty, fear of the future, inability to be alone, addiction to a substance?We all know we deserve a better life, but we don’t know how. to meet the real needs, those who inhabit a more intimate and profound stratum of our being?
Life will only bring us more opportunities if we set foot in front of each other and go out looking for them, will happiness only knock on our door if we are receptive, if we are attentive, prepared and above all?For those who let themselves be carried away by fears and insecurities will sink the opportunities lost on the island, for those who give in to disappointment will sooner or later opt for the same physical and mental isolation to which Emily Dickinson has imposed himself.
“I don’t think she’s like Emily Dickinson, who kept in her coffin the things she thought were the most beautiful. “Jeff Bridges.
In these times when we find happiness pills in the form of beautiful phrases on Twitter and Facebook, there is something we should never lose sight of, one thing that critics of positive psychology remind us of very well: we must learn to accept painful experiences no matter what. A farewell, a disappointment or a failure is something that must be “swallowed” without choice?However, after immersing ourselves in the chaotic abyss of negative emotions, it’s time to get out of it. And we will, for being even stronger. Feeling more and more beautiful.
In our complex and demanding daily life, we must understand that people do not deserve to feel good, in peace, feel satisfaction, freedom, success and taste for joy, all these things are actually RIGHTS. Why is it important what our history is, where we come from, or who we are?We all have the right to be happy and to choose how to do it.