I spoke to my psychologist, whom I went to see just to “locate myself” because I felt like I didn’t fit into anything. I was tired of standing still while everything around me flowed normally. His words made perfect sense to me, so everything changed. “Do you act like you’re living in a play?”she said.
For a person like me, who always tries to make things the best and most coherent way, what he said shocked me, however, I was ready to listen to your argument and begin my introspection.
- I realized that I was dealing with people I didn’t want.
- That I was going to very popular places with these people.
- Using my best disposition.
- Slave to the system and the social circle.
- Surrounded by topics that didn’t interest me at all and that deviated a lot from my opinion and my ideals.
- Relatives I treat in a special way.
- Simply because they have a better picture.
Who has never hated their boyfriend’s friend, cousin or brother?Who never wanted to leave the mother-in-law’s house?Have you seen soap operas or sports you don’t like, just to satisfy someone?Was it this unbearable colleague’s birthday? Sometimes we don’t even like our own boyfriend, but we stay with him, so we’re faking it. Starting with the loss of spontaneity and authenticity, which in turn ends with many moments of pleasure, do not take advantage of the moments we have free from our obligations, so here life goes on.
After that, I started doing the things I love and making up others I hadn’t tried yet: go out with my friends, sisters, visit my grandmother, go for a run, stop making up every weekend, open a wine at home and put my favorite playlist to play and?rest!Has all this been reflected in my mood?My skin is cleaner, more relaxed, what did people tell me?What did you do?? (many other people said I was lost) and that’s exactly what happened: I got lost to find myself. I’ve tried to review the contexts to understand my actions.
Before, I didn’t spend time on myself, I let the responsibilities suck me, which had a negative impact on my physical and emotional health. Have you always been stressed, tired and in the worst case of fatigue?The mind. Until I realized that everything was proof that I no longer loved myself, within a few days I took the time to reflect on my decisions, started with the little ones and left the most complex ones in front, if I didn’t like something, I tried to get it out of my life right away and yes, I also started acting like this at work : if I did not agree with something, I said, until my own assertiveness surprised me, now they realized that I was there and followed the rules I needed in my day.
I began to have control of my body and mind and, in this way, I concentrated on the endless struggle I had with my flaws, I made peace with my flaws and, realizing that many would stay with me, I began to live better with Have I healed my wounds with love?With self-esteem! I began to be less perfect and happier, I stopped accommodating the known, routine and irrational beliefs I had inherited, comfort, since then, has been my worst enemy and I understood this: to understand the hearts of others you have to understand the heart itself.