Many children are jealous of the arrival of their siblings: they need to share space and attention with someone stranger, who very recently and takes a long time, a time that was previously theirs.
Thus, if the situation is not handled well, it will arouse a lot of jealousy, enough motivation for behaviors that we did not want or even that we thought the little one had already overcome.
- One of the ghosts behind jealousy is fear.
- In fact it increases when the baby comes home and needs attention almost 24 hours a day.
- The child feels that it is not emotionally reciprocal (at least not as before).
- Which is ignored.
- As a result.
- Jealousy arises and the arriving baby becomes a competitor.
Fortunately, this situation can be addressed in a way that has no relevant consequences. Let’s see how we can do it.
To avoid jealousy at the brother’s arrival, the child must understand why the new family member needs so much attention, so it is important for parents to show him photos of his or her childhood and explain the care he needed. the newborn arrives, the child will better understand what is going on.
If a child doesn’t understand how to care for babies, why parents should pay so much attention to them, and why they should share their parents’ care, they may reject their new sibling. To avoid all this, it is essential to talk about the situation in terms that the child understands and to do good time management, so that the “dethroned prince”?don’t waste all your space.
In addition, parents can give something to the child in the baby’s name along the way, it can be a doll, slippers or any other element, so that the child is curious about the baby that is coming and that it may correspond even in the same way, prepare something with emotional meaning for the moment of the encounter.
Some children, when they are jealous, get very angry, while others express themselves sadly.
Preparing the meeting to avoid jealousy is very important, this will be the starting point, the first impression, the moment when the eldest son will choose an attitude towards the brother who has just arrived, so if we organize well, with this presentation, it can avoid many future problems.
No matter how we prepare it, the child may be reluctant to meet or recognize you as part of the family, this can be a manifestation of shyness, but also rejection, identifying whether it is one or the other posture will help us work from this point, giving them a space to express their emotions and helping them work with them.
In many cases parents do not let the older child carry the baby, no matter what they ask, this is a serious mistake, because one of the premises so that the child does not feel the need is that he gets involved in the activities he performed with the newborn.
Leaving a child in your arms can be dangerous, but we can allow it if you are sitting next to it to control the situation at all times.
If the child wants to participate, we should let him or her get involved in the child care tasks of the baby. At bath time, the brother can collaborate, if he wants or if we can encourage him (in no way force or blackmail him emotionally). Is it about taking a towel, shampooing it, letting it gently rub your brother’s head?Contact is essential.
The more moments we share with both at once, the greater the integration and the less we will have to divide, in this sense we must also avoid reaching the other end, in no case should the older brother be responsible for caring for the younger brother.
If a child is unable to reach out and touch his brother because his hands are dirty or could hurt him, jealousy and rejection are likely to resurface.
All actions taken and efforts to avoid jealousy at the arrival of the brother should not replace the quality time a child needs, no further than the baby needs, the eldest still has his needs and will thank him for the time we dedicate exclusively to Ties are unique and unrrasonable.
In this sense, parents should strive to try to maintain the routines that existed before, trying to maintain in particular those that included the eldest of the children, in this way the child will feel close to his parents and see that he is always important to them.
In short, to avoid jealousy when a new brother arrives, parents have a lot of leeway, just as the baby grows, new challenges and even jealousy arise, in one way or another these phenomena are part of the wonderful adventure of parenting.