Being a mother is a personal choice. There are those who never feel the need and break, in a way, with that traditional role that was previously expected of women, however, there is a more delicate aspect that includes some personal distress and an emotional vacuum that has happened quite often today.
For women who want to have children, the impossibility of being a mother is undoubtedly a terrible pain that only those who have passed away can understand, we know that fertility techniques are currently very advanced, but still, they are not always effective and not all. You can spend the large sums needed to take advantage of them.
- Nor can we forget that the issue of fertility also affects men.
- That suffering is genderless.
- Racial and religious.
- And that we can all find ourselves in this situation.
- Because parenting is the greatest gift we can give ourselves; a treasure that encloses all our being and our love.
- Someone to educate and guide at every step to proper happiness and personal maturity.
Are we going to talk about this topic today, focusing on the figure of the woman, because of the emotional involvement that usually occurs in any mother who dreams of having children, who wants to conceive, embrace, care for and educate?And this, however, does not.
As we said earlier, the experience of infertility is not easy for men or women, we may be talking about a couple trying to have a child or just a woman who wants to start a family on their own.
Either way, the process of assuming and accepting that it will not be possible to have children is painful in every way. In fact, experts tell us that the news of infertility is often lived as a painful process, such as having to deal with a loss:
1. Si there is a first moment of confusion and misunderstanding, we may not even accept the situation, we have friends who already have children and we can also have a family where no one has had trouble conceiving a child so far. Why with me?
2. Sometimes we also have to deal with the social barrier that does not help in these phases, we cannot talk about rejection of the infertile woman, but of misunderstanding, because sometimes the companion himself does not understand the pain of his companion, or do friends and family try to comfort him?No problem, to make them freer. Expressions, in some cases, devastating.
3. After a misunderstanding, anger arises. We’ll look for the culprit, including ourselves. What doesn’t work on me, is it something I did or didn’t do?
4. Will the phase of discomfort, tears and pain come later?Are there many women who have already prepared things for this baby, long-term plans that need to be remade?
Gradually, and with support, we will eventually accept it. It’s when other options arise, such as fertility techniques or even adoption. However, in this text, we will only stop to understand the “first impact”. You have to understand that you can’t conceive of this much-desired child. This person has dreamed so much that we want to love and care for.
We must be very clear that if the above process does not close properly, with the acceptance that we cannot have children, depression is very likely to develop.
The feeling of failure, that there is something within us that slips out of our hands, and prevents us from being mothers, leads us to a state of total helplessness, where low self-esteem can lead us to a depressive state.
How can we handle the situation?
? First of all, you should know that you are not alone, you have your partner, who you should trust and whom you will also need to support, together they will evaluate whether or not to look for other options. You dreamed of starting a single-parent family, seeking the support of family and friends, they will give you love and eventually guide you through other options, if you wish.
? There’s a chance you’ll never be able to experience a pregnancy, and this is something you’ll also have to assume as a probability. But that’s not why you’ll love yourself less. Just because your body doesn’t allow you to have children doesn’t mean it will be rejected; don’t fall for these thoughts. You can fully enjoy motherhood through adoption, for example.
? If for some reason you can’t have that person to care for, protect, and educate, don’t lose that need to love. There are many people around you who also need you. Love yourself in all your fullness; The impossibility of being a mother should not be a void in your life, because you can fill it in many other ways. Find your ways and live happily!