A sentimental breakup is often painful for the parties involved, however, the person who has been abandoned may feel much worse because he has not had the opportunity to participate in the decision, so he can interpret the situation as a failure on his part and develop a mostly destructive sense of guilt.
This sense of personal failure can be even greater if the rupture was caused by a third person, in these cases it seems inevitable to compare with the third, which helps to make the person worse, now it is inevitable to have this feeling. ‘when do they leave us? Let’s go further.
- Just because you’ve been abandoned doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
- Especially if you’ve given up honestly and honestly to the other person.
Why are we suffering so much? When a relationship ends the pain invades us, especially if that decision was not ours, after all we want to continue with our ex-partner, however, many processes come into play in a love story, it is at this point that all kinds of changes occur in the most intimate part of our being.
When we choose a partner we do not do it randomly: there is something that connects us deeply and we have decided to stay with him, at that moment we show our most vulnerable part in the hope of being fired.
If all goes well and the relationship begins, we will enter the courtship phase. During this phase, we are delighted with this person, we admire her and consider her unique. We think this complements us and we find “our half of the orange. “even if this sentence is a little outdated.
When the relationship isn’t going well, we feel completely confused. We don’t know what to do with our emotions and we’re desperately trying to keep that person by our side. We can often behave in a way that shows that we are not. sufficiently valued.
There are many factors that influence the way we act, but most of them come from a terrible fear of being alone, because of our irrational beliefs about love, when we feel alone, the inner void appears and we are afraid that we do not know what to do with it. . Sometimes that leads us to act in a way that hurts us.
The emptiness we feel when they leave us is ours, it comes from our most intimate part, we believe that we need the other person to feel complete, but that is a serious mistake, in thinking so we give him a tremendous responsibility person, something that does not belong to him.
When we begin to depend on others to feel good, we set the stage for the failure of our relationship. It is one thing to feel good about our partner and another to need them to be well. You will no doubt feel vulnerable and insecure, leading to a deterioration of the healthier relationship.
To build a mature and conscious relationship, it takes two complete people, not a fusion of the two, it’s like dancing a tango: the two members of the couple must know their role, they can’t depend on each other to take the step. By joining the movements, you can see a unique dance that seduces both those who look and those who dance.
Similarly, the secret of a relationship is that everyone can remain themselves, even if they are part of a couple, for this both must take responsibility for their actions, both can be loved intensely and truly, but in the way that satisfies them the most.
Just because you’ve been abandoned doesn’t mean you’ve made a mistake, maybe yes or maybe you haven’t; the most important thing is that you remain yourself despite the relationship.
When we really enter into a relationship, we feel more connected with the other person, in addition, we act in a coherent way between what we think and feel about the relationship, so that love becomes something more pure. However, doing this is very difficult because we are afraid of being ridiculed, hurt or abandoned.
To lose this fear, we must understand that the worst is not abandonment, so the greatest failure is not the rupture, but the time spent in a relationship in which we do not feel comfortable or give ourselves totally to our fears.
If we were in a relationship where we gave ourselves up sincerely and truly, did our best, and yet we were abandoned, that doesn’t mean we’re a failure. Because during the time we were there we were totally involved.
That is, the mere fact that we are in a relationship that is already quite paid, because that is what we really wanted to do, we did not do it because we were not alone, for fulfilling a commitment or for any other reason based on fear This is the true success and value of a relationship.
If you have fallen behind, do not consider abandonment a failure if you have done your best.
A couple’s story should not be valued on the basis of separation or length of the relationship, if the other person was not as involved as we were, perhaps it simply failed or was not compatible with us, in any case, their value as The person is always intact, no matter what. After all, you did what you thought was right.
“What we have never enjoyed in life, we never lose. Is everything we deeply love part of ourselves? -Hellen Keller-