Love me the way I am, not the way you want me to be, because something breaks in me every time you ask me to act a certain way and I think I should do things like you.
Something doesn’t work when we don’t accept ourselves as different and changing, something doesn’t work when we delve into our discourse and don’t hear what others feel, think, and experience.
- In other words.
- At a time when we neglect our capacity for empathy.
- Our relationships are restructuring and disintegrating symmetry.
- Creating struggles for control rather than collaboration for well-being.
We generally express a number of beliefs and patterns of behavior about what relationships should look like, assume and try to show that we collaborate with the person we love, that we care about stability and partner coexistence.
In general, this individual ability to cooperate for the good of the couple is strongly defended by its members, however, the truth is that it is often not real and that it is possible to predict certain power games.
In relationships, we often use energy, time and money to achieve something that really excludes the other person and generates an asymmetrical relationship, that is, we pretend with our power to make sure that the other person does what we want to do. in possession of power determines that the essence of their actual demands is different.
Then two things happen
We are people and, as such, we have lights and shadows, in fact, it is equivalent to an adjustment of our expectations. We cannot expect others to always fit our opinion or to do what we want when it suits us, so it is important to expect everything from us and set aside the idealistic conceptions of our relationships.
How would we be without plurality! If we were not universally unique, the world, and therefore our personal exchanges, would be too boring, so from this assumption it is essential to manage our expectations (this is important, because we cannot make them disappear radically) and respect the people around us and those we love.
If, on the other hand, we let them govern us, we will lose our essence and what suits us. We will make ourselves a “copy and paste”, people without individuality or judgment, who become empty because they meet the expectations of others and forget what they want, aspire and ask for.
Main illustration by Benjamin Lacombe.