Suffering is one of the ideas we associate most with love. We believe that suffering in a relationship is inevitable and related to the intensity and depth of love. We learn to love in this way, from suffering, creating toxic relationships.
Love can involve pain, which is inevitable, however, suffering itself is something that can be dispensed with, as well as something to be taken out of the equation. Knowing that love is a feeling that makes two people come with to share happiness. there’s no reason to give it a negative connotation.
- So why are we so ingrained in the idea of suffering in love?This was learned culturally and socially through redemption or “salvation.
- ” with the conviction that suffering is a test of love.
- An ideology that may even be a bit sadomasochistic.
In this culture, as we have already mentioned, there is the idea that the more suffering we suffer, the more we love, so we have to relearn and, above all, wonder what it means to love.
When suffering appears in our romantic relationships it is because something is wrong, our personal development, our maturity, our honesty and the harmony of a couple are elements that, when consolidated, no longer give rise to suffering in the relationship.
When we love healthily we relate without suffering, without fears that make us lose our individual freedom, without having to be with someone so as not to feel alone, it is healthy to relate to who we are sharing our happiness with the other person.
The union that represents our bond of love must not be contaminated by possessiveness and dependence, moving away from these two common practices requires a lot of maturity and above all a good image of itself and personal appreciation.
We remember that dependence and possessiveness are inevitable ingredients of suffering. It is not possible to harmonize and be at peace when one constantly depends on the fear of losing what he thinks he has.
As we have seen before, suffering has no place in love, for it intoxicates you and ends up killing you. There are values that we can introduce into our relationships so as not to fall into the trap of settlement, which are essentially appreciation and appreciation. .
Maintaining a relationship based on respect, mutual appreciation, sharing who we are, and understanding that reciprocity is important, as well as exchanging positive messages, are principles that prevent us from suffering and establishing reasons to be grateful for the bond we have.
It is a bond of love: a relationship where sharing tastes and interests is above repression and the fear of losing those we love, it is a matter of care, appreciation, gratitude and tranquility that we will continue together in the face of difficulties.