The master in the art of apology uses them as a defense mechanism. Using the most quirky pretext and justification for every mistake or incompetence is a way to disguise insecurities, to protect your own ego.
There are people like that, teachers in making excuses, people who offer fabulous justifications for every carelessness, an un done task, a failure, a stumble or a word that is not fulfilled; they have no difficulty in resorting to ornate pretexts that, moreover, to be puerile, demonstrate a manifest irresponsibility towards one’s own life.
- The celebrated French writer Stendhal said that those who apologise blame themselves.
- This is a great truth.
- Because this type of behavior shows above all a kind of self-deception with which self-esteem or deeper realities that are not desired are defended.
- Assume.
- Such as indecision.
- Insecurity.
- Immaturity or even fear.
We all know or have someone close to us who is used to making excuses in almost every circumstance. This subtle but eye-catching art of avoiding any kind of responsibility wears out and wears out. Something like this creates serious problems at work, in the family and especially on a personal level. Having a partner as a couple who excuse their shields for every difficulty, problem or circumstance can be very harmful.
Understanding what is behind this type of personality will be of great help to us, not only to better treat these people, but also to promote, as far as possible, appropriate strategies to make them aware of the effect of their behavior.
The habit of making excuses begins in childhood. In school you can find children who can invent curious excuses to justify why they did not do their homework; at home, they are also agile and spiritual when they are warned for neglecting their tasks, evading their responsibilities, blaming their no one faces them, and gradually excuses their means of survival.
Almost inadvertently, they become the craftsmen of lies, the great procrastinators, those who leave for next year what they should have done yesterday, in their little world everything has their justification, and if others do not understand them, they do not doubt it. resort to anger and disapproval by saying “you don’t trust me,” “you never believe me. “
Now we have to understand a small aspect of these teachers in the art of making excuses: they are not happy people, nor are they profiles that feel good about themselves, anyone who uses the pretext does so when they feel threatened, when their competition is questioned, when their mistake, their recklessness, their erratic behavior occur. The excuse is a defense mechanism, a shield-like resource for concealing weaknesses and inconsistencies.
Apologies put the brain in the basement of fear, so those who use them in almost every circumstance limit their growth, the responsibility of their life and their own human potential, because the habit of excuses is like a virus that makes the person sick and prevented. him to change, with the obligation to take care of himself with maturity.
“Couldn’t I finish the report because my computer was infected with a virus?”I didn’t go to the job interview because the train was in trouble and I couldn’t get there. Behind these and other equally false pretexts, there is more than just a lack of honesty, it is the fear of facing certain realities that they must face for their own well-being, dignity and happiness.
Apologizing is the easiest way to deal with any compromising situation, if we forget an important appointment it is always better to blame the traffic, the problems of the car, the sudden illness that left us in bed.
Let’s see what dimensions define this behavior specifically
As we have already seen, the roots of the art of making excuses often sink into the heart of fear or insecurity of those who resort to pretext to protect their ego or comfortable position in the comfort zone. The excuse is nothing more than a lie, a small strategy to hide certain realities.
In any case, and even if we are the ones who sometimes use excuses not to do what we should be doing, we must take into account some key points, thinking about the following aspects can help in such situations.
In conclusion, while it is clear that we have all used excuses on more than one occasion, we also know that it is difficult to get rid of them completely, so let us be patient with those who still use them and try to get them up like someone who frees himself from a heavy burden.