Victimism can be very beneficial. A person who is the victim of something, one way or another, ends up getting rid of the criticisms of others and counts on the compassion and understanding of many people, no matter what they do. In fact, those who question the actions of an alleged victim may even be perceived as insensitive or heartless.
Victimization is, in many cases, a strategy that brings more benefits than problems to the individual.
- This condition allows us to create a kind of immunity that gives the impression that everything the victim says is true and that everything he does has good intentions.
- But in some cases this calculated victimism.
- Conscious or unconscious.
- Hides blackmail.
There are real victimization situations. The person may go through a situation in which he or she suffers abuse or over-authority, where there is no possibility of reacting or defending himself.
If someone is assaulted in the street, for example, the person attacking may have a power that the victim cannot face: it can be a weapon, a uniform, a position, etc.
This type of situation results in an objective condition of victimization, but it is a transient condition, which should not be used as a label that the person carries with him everywhere.
After leaving a situation of concrete impotence, remaining a victim is an option and not a definitive reality.
One thing is certain: the victim needs attention, care, support and affection, that dedication and understanding to get out of his state of shock and vulnerability, and that’s something that’s not discussed.
In fact, we’re talking about victimization as an existential position. That’s when a traumatic event becomes a kind of eternal identity card. The person is using their status as a victim, not because they have witnessed something or witnessed a crime, but to obtain privileges that they might not otherwise have.
He’s the kind of person who makes his suffering a kind of carefully presented program.
In more severe cases, victims feel that this gives them carte blanche: hating or hurting others.
Some signals help us identify who is part of this circle of manipulation and who is making victimization their way of life, the main ones are:
? The person using the victimization does not directly say what they want, but sends inaccurate messages in the form of complaints or regrets.
For example, they say, “Nobody knows how much it took me to get here. “So you don’t know if the person wants your recognition, if they complain because they think it costs you less or if they want your help. with something in particular.
? You feel a little guilty when you’re with that person, every conversation you have with them leaves the impression that you’re responsible for something, but you can’t define what it can be, you feel a sad or vague discomfort with yourself.
? The victim is also afraid and cautious
It often alerts you to other people’s ill intentions. He uses the suffering of the past to justify his wickedness. And you can even accuse him of insensitivity or apathy if you criticize him.
? He is able to make great sacrifices for others, without anyone asking him anything.
When a person has these characteristics, we are before someone who has assumed the role of victim in life.
This person is certainly not happy to have this kind of behavior without real meaning.
In any case, he is someone who has not closed the cycle of his traumatic experience, needs your understanding, but also your sincerity.
The best way to help someone like that is to say with love and directly what you think of their attitude.