In the different dimensions of what we call “sex”, we have transsexuality. A transgender person has a biological identity, but does not feel identified with it and seeks to acquire the characteristics of the gender to which he or she identifies. This identification can be progressive and influence several aspects: from the outside, such as how to dress, hairstyle, etc. , to taking hormonal blockers or hormones and even even sex change surgery. In simpler terms, we can say that a transgender child is a girl who feels like a boy, or a boy who feels like a girl.
Without wanting to provoke controversy, let us think that sexual diversity has always existed, the difference is that we now live in a society that is a little more open, more informed, and in which talking about homosexuality, transsexuality and intersex does not awaken. such rejection, today’s society is more respectful of the different manifestations of sexuality, however, what we see in many cases is that when we get closely involved in the subject, the initial openness tends to change.
- In this context.
- Today we are going to talk about Mary.
- A case that.
- At the time.
- Represented a professional challenge with which I could see closely many circumstances around the issue of child transsexuality.
“The idea is very simple: accept people as they are. Accept even if it is different? -Caitlyn Jenner-
Puberty is the phase most associated with the expression of sexuality, as a result, many ideas and concepts related to sexuality appear, clarify or are first lived at this stage, it is likely that during childhood there will be a demonstration, but it is usually later when this behavior is given meaning. If such situations occur in childhood, the most important thing is to listen to what the child has to say.
Often when we see a child playing with a doll or wearing a dress or a child who has more affinity with other children of the opposite sex, who has attitudes that we consider?Or “masculinized”, we assume that this fact is a clear indicator of how your sexual identity will be built from that moment on.
In many situations, we do not have enough patience to ly clarify whether it is simply a behavior, an exploration or something more definitive, we want to label it because it reassures us, in our society, even if things have changed, It is always better to see someone who is born than someone who becomes one.
Mary’s case is particularly special because it is unusual and the recent increase in the incidence of similar cases, the truth is that when Mary was 3 years old she already said that she felt like a child, her parents and those around her reacted with insecurity, not knowing what to do and with mixed feelings.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life?-Steve Jobs-
In general, children are very sincere when sharing their thoughts in an environment where they feel safe. Mary was very communicative about the changes she was beginning to feel. He told us he was a child; she wanted to dress like a child, cut her hair and many times we would call her by the name of a child she herself had chosen: John.
Almost all children are curious by nature, wondering and wondering about the mysteries they find in everything around them, about the body, about the differences between boys and girls, etc. What Mary felt was more than just a curiosity. to develop her gender identity, she did not feel identified as a child and with all the expectations and protocol that society in general considers with this identification, which has led to changes in her physical form, clothing, vocation, play and play.
The fact that Mary was open and honest with what was happening helped and encouraged all the people she worked with to help. Pay more attention, see if these changes have been maintained and consistent over time, learn and seek help for Mary and everyone involved. The basic idea was to mitigate the effect of “social shock” by minimizing the risks of anxiety, stress, depression, the desire not to go to school, nightmares or something more serious known as gender dysphoria.
“Every destination, however long and complicated, consists of a single moment: the moment when man knows forever who he is. “- Jorge Luis Borges-
It is important not to panic and stay calm because it allows us to see if we are facing simple behavior, for example, playing games of the other sex more often, or something more durable and internal. The important thing is to look closely, make yourself available to the child to answer their questions and try to know their emotions and feelings. Simply be open and tolerant so that the child sits in an environment of trust, in which he can express himself openly.
Adults who are present in the life of the transgender child, especially parents, but also grandparents, uncles and teachers, may even have feelings of guilt, think that we have done something wrong, that we have not been respectful or that we impose ourselves and reject behaviors because they are out of the expected and what we know, it is also normal to be afraid of what may happen in the future with the transgender child , we need to know that we are not alone and that, in these cases, most people want to act in the best way possible.
It should be mentioned that we are not looking at a sick child who needs treatment, we are looking at a child who discovers himself, like all of us, and that in this process of discovery there can be complications, perhaps more because of the injustice of the society in which you live, and that it can be positive to receive professional assistance and help. We must always act on it.
“A man’s identity is the coherence between who he is and what he thinks. “Charles Sanders Peirce.
As far as transgender children are concerned, our unconditional love and acceptance is fundamental, in this sense it is also important to face changes and transformations in the most natural way possible, without forcing the child to take positions he does not want, at the same time, we must seek information and adapt our mind and language to change. The goal is to make the environment around the transgender child take a unique position, that of respect.
The case of Maria occurred in Spain. In Madrid, a 2016 law speaks, among other things, of the child’s right to live his own identity. With the approval of parents (up to the age of 16), they can change their registration name (although they cannot yet change sex) and have the right to be called by the name they have chosen, both at school and wherever they go; they also have the right to access treatments, such as hormonal blockers, to prevent certain physical changes.
Language, culture and society will be slower and more difficult changes for a transgender child, when it comes to language, it is necessary to incorporate more neutral or inclusive terms, we must think that language is an expression of society that will gradually lead to a change of mindset and then these changes will be reflected in the way we speak , in that sense we still have a long way to go. And, therefore, we owe it to all the Johns and all the Marys who have lived, live and will live in this world.
“The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. Does the tolerance test come when you are in the majority? . – Ralph W. Sockman-