Carles Capdevila said, with a lot of common sense, that “our children must be children and make mistakes, but they must also understand how adult life works. “On the contrary, reality shows us that sometimes we embrace them so much that we turn children into straitjackets A uniform suitable for certain styles of modern creation where error is the devil and overprotection rule.
Veamos. La modern creation often seeks to form children so happy and admirable that they cannot be frustrated, cannot see what is not in their interests, must be perfect in everything or at least aspire to be perfect, being more prisoners of this utopia than motivated by it. .
- These kids who are so perfect and happy on paper.
- In fact.
- Don’t seem to be like that.
- In fact.
- Some parents try to stay so far above their children that they don’t make mistakes and are frustrated to take away their rights.
- Make mistakes.
- And with that.
- They take away your chance to learn.
As evidenced by a 2011 survey, preschoolers received different toys, in some cases the researcher explained to the child how the toy he had chosen worked, in others he did not, then left leaving the children alone.
This research showed that children who knew how the toy worked played more repetitively and limitedly, so they got bored more quickly.
On the other hand, the children who were not instructed were faced with the task of independently investigating the operation of the toy, a challenge that has led them to develop their creativity, trying to play with the toy in various ways, thus taking longer to get bored.
That’s why University of California psychology professor Alison Gopnik believes today’s overly targeted early childhood education is a mistake, parents should help children develop successfully, but considering that their intervention is to help, accompany, or facilitate discovery. and that they can overcome with the capacity they have at the time.
Alison Gopnik defines such parents, defenders of modern creation, as carpenters, because of her constant attempt to shape, as if her children were a piece of wood to work and shape, so these types of parents are very concerned about making their children adopt their rules, their values and their dreams, in fact , are able to put their frustrations and desires on the little ones, so they are characterized as follows:
On the other hand, Gopnik considers that there is another much more positive form of education, that of gardening parents. See parents as adults who water flowers that grow with the support of love and attention.
“Live in such a way that when your children think of justice, affection, and integrity, think of you. -H. Jackson Brown-
In other words, for Alison Gopnik, parents should let their children grow up, remain tempted to control them and intervene too much, children will explore the world, make mistakes, stumble, learn to resolve conflicts, tolerate frustration, and solve their own problems. .
For her it must always take into account the opinions of children, the child needs to explore and discover his own tastes and skills, for this it must be stimulated, give him freedom to think and let him think and make his own decisions in the subjects for which he is able to make them; parents who advocate for this kind of modern education.
However, not everything is so simple: for fear of controlling them too much, we run the risk of going too far, it is enough to be there to protect and help them, to solve their curiosities and their needs, so that they do not lack. It’s a challenge, but it’s a precious challenge when you see them grow up accompanied by the pride of having done for themselves what they couldn’t even dream of months ago. You have to be there, without overprotecting them, to accompany them.
True, they will fall a thousand times when they learn to walk, but it is better that they fall at that moment, when their body is prepared and made of rubber, that then our role in this sense will be to offer you our own hand and motivate them to stand.
“We can only aspire to leave two lasting legacies to our children: one, the roots; the other, the wings. ? –Hodding Carter–