Most mothers want the best for their children, only in exceptional cases, usually related to serious pathologies, this does not apply, the problem is that many mothers confuse what best suits their children with their own needs.
It is very common for mothers to be overwhelmed by fear of the fate of their children, how can they not be afraid in a world where there are dangers, ranging from a fall and their respective wounds, to unthinkable situations such as abduction or death by a newborn?virus discovered?
- The problem itself is not fear.
- But the strategy to deal with it.
- A fearful mother can turn her fears into a reasonable precaution.
- But she can also succumb to them and become a “hen mother.
- “.
In a familiar form, “Mom chicken?” refers to all mothers who want to stay with their?children under their wings, “snuggled up,” as they say in a children’s song. They seek to extend a protective cloak that isolates them from all the risks and dangers that may arise in the world.
Their conscious intention is perfectly understandable: what they want to avoid is for their children to go through unpleasant or even traumatic experiences, they don’t want to see them exposed to difficult situations, which can even affect them physically and emotionally.
These mothers feel that their children are extremely fragile beings. Of course, for the most part, all children are, because they have not yet achieved their full physical and psychological development and are therefore vulnerable to various risks. Chicken Mom? He wants to make sure none of these risks reach his children.
One of the techniques these mothers use is to constantly warn their children of the dangers of the world. “If you approach the stove you can burn. ” Be careful when playing ball, you can fall and break a bone. “. “” Don’t go out on the street, because there are people stealing children. “
So, although their intention is very good, they end up creating a horror catalogue for their children, they are taught to travel the world out of fear. Well, that ‘around the world’ thing is a saying, because after all, they encourage them not to move, because every situation carries a risk.
As children grow up and demand more and more space to act in the world, do they?Mom chickens, they become controllers and accusers. They establish mechanisms to place their children under their permanent supervision and regard their attempts at autonomy as an aggression directed against them.
Mom Chicken? He thinks what he wants is the happiness of his children. They have a concept of ‘happiness?What is the absence of setbacks?They believe that if they can take their children into adulthood without suffering, they will have played a big role. Paper.
The contradiction of this issue is that the children of this type of mother end up living exactly the opposite, suffer from an excess of emotional tension because of the anxiety felt by their mothers, who alert them all the time, imagine the worst situations and therefore fill them with fear.
That’s why they can’t appreciate anything. When they are very young, they do not want to disturb their mother and end up turning their warnings into mandates to follow to the letter, if the relationship is not good or if the maternal demands are excessive happens quite the opposite, the child constantly challenges. the dangers of asking for independence.
The most passive child by obedience and the most uneasy about challenges end up attracting new problems. It takes work to trust and trust the world. They are unable to adapt creatively to difficult situations and to develop their exploration of the world with a strong sense of It is very common for these children to become difficult teenagers over the years.
Thus, a story is written in which no one wins, both mother and child will develop a pattern of relationship that alternates between extreme independence and episodes of abrupt rupture, guilt will be at the center of everything and none of those involved will have peace.
Mom chickens, they’re also called chickens because of their stubborn attachment to fear. They underestimate their children’s abilities and project their own sense of helplessness, they do not understand that every human being has his own life and that this life entails difficulties, problems and situations of risk and danger that we all have to learn to manage.
In fact, what makes us adults is learning to overcome difficulties, mistakes, and problems, that’s what gives us confidence in who we are and what we can do, is that the difference between an adult?Chick? And a healthy, strong adult.
Images courtesy of Emma Block.