There comes a time when butterflies in the stomach no longer count for love, it is time when the most earthly issues begin to become important and idealism is replaced by a more practical mind, the economic aspect, for example, comes to the fore. That’s when money starts to become an important issue in relationships; if not treated with intelligence and tact, it can be a source of conflict.
Money is much more than a material resource for human beings, each of us attributes a conscious and unconscious meaning to it, depends on certain stages of childhood, the education we receive, the experiences we have acquired with the money and the environment in which we live. Live.
- Sooner or later.
- Money becomes an important part of the relationship.
- Sometimes from the beginning.
- Many people treat the economic situation of others as an important variable for choosing them in a relationship.
- Many relationships are also not contaminated and destroyed by lack of agreement or understanding.
“Blessed is he who has talent and money, for he will use it well. “Menandre from Athens?
When it comes to money, there is always a certain hypocrisy, as Sigmund Freud pointed out, the father of psychoanalysis has ensured that in addition to sexual issues, monetary issues are also full of taboos, half-words and prejudices, this is particularly visible in the early stages of a relationship.
Generally, at the beginning of a romantic relationship, money is a very simple issue to include in the list of topics on which agreements are made, the intensity of someone’s love motivates abandonment, avoiding disagreements, both want to pay, give each other.
In this first step, however, certain standards are raised that will mark the silver and couple pairing, almost always one of the two is more generous with their resources, while the other is more receptive, there are implicit behavioral agreements regarding spending. On the other hand, an explicit debate usually takes place when coexistence begins.
In general people are looking for a partner with a similar economic level, it is not always so, but that is what prevails, despite this, it is difficult for both members of the couple to have the same income, the same spending habits. and the same expectations. In this sense, there are usually several asymmetry, which are manageable when contrast is not very important.
One of the problems arises when there are economic differences between couples and when money also plays an important role in the distribution of power, so there are few couples in which one offers all or almost all the support in economic terms and the other generates a debt that must be paid otherwise , so with money you can make your tastes or preferences prevail, for example, in debates you disagree on.
It is also not uncommon for there to be competition between the couple’s members, especially if both are professionally successful and have good resources.
González and Espinosa’s Byejas jevenes and divorce study, published in the psychology journal Iztacala, indicates that money is the area most likely to generate conflicts between an average couple.
They indicate that this is the factor with the greatest number and intensity of disagreements; before, during and after the divorce. Researchers say the problem is often tinged by feelings of anguish, anger, rancour, envy, jealousy and more.
Inadvertently, many couples end up using money for purposes they shouldn’t have, such as controlling each other, for example. Or to compensate for emotional damage, such as infidelity, indifference or abuse.
That’s why the issue of money in relationships requires smart agreements, the healthiest way to solve this problem is to address the problem directly and periodically review what was agreed.