The relationship between mothers and daughters is a bond that feeds on complicity and strength, few connections can be as intense and complex as that of this woman who educates her daughter, wanting to be her pillar in her daily life, her refuge, her accomplice. , this figure capable of offering both strength and freedom to find its own way, as you wish.
There is a very interesting book on this subject written by Cohen-Sandler which, in the Portuguese translation, is called “I’m not angry, I just hate you!”The book talks specifically about the complexity and beauty of the relationship between mothers and daughters. According to the author, this connection is like a dance that oscillates between dependence and independence, and sometimes between moments of hatred and absolute love.
- Having a daughter is a gift.
- A precious treasure that helps you grow.
- Mature in freedom and happiness.
- Because to be a mother of a daughter is to discover strength that you did not know you had.
It is often said that when a woman gives birth to a daughter, she decides that she will not make the same mistakes her mother has made with her in the past. We all somehow have our own somewhat complex emotional legacy that we don’t want to project on our children. Still, sometimes it is more appropriate to get carried away by the instinct and wisdom of those emotions that tell us what is the best thing we can do in relation to our children.
There are many types of children and they are almost always based on the way their mother is educated, there are the most controlling mothers, the narcissists, the suffocating, the overprotective, and also the wonderful ones: those that allow the right emotionality. growth of their daughters who can see in their mother at any time a reference to imitate, someone to lean on to be part of the world of tomorrow. Daughters of life advancing in freedom.
However, one aspect that is always present in this dance of interdependence that we talked about before is that girls want to have their own freedom, their private spaces from very early on, but in some cases, however, the very inertia of the relationship leads them to seek again the approval of their mother, in search of affection, the usual complicity between mothers and daughters.
It is therefore a complex bond, in which strength is always intense, either in a very rewarding sense or considering a slightly more traumatic aspect. The most complex part often revolves around mothers seeing in their daughters a reflection of themselves, who must be directed and directed to realize what they themselves have not achieved. They want their daughters to fill the gaps with their own wounds like women.
We must make it clear that, above all, education must be the same for a son or daughter, without discrimination, without gender stereotypes, with the same rights and responsibilities, however, we also know that sometimes each child has a type of need emotional, and this is where we must be most attentive to give the best possible response to each need.
That is why it is necessary to know the kind of strategies that we, as mothers, must maintain so that our daughters are independent, wise and happy but with roots strong enough to make them proud of this bond built with their mothers. .
In conclusion, despite the difficulties and situations of conflict and difference that each young person ends up living at some point with his mother, there always comes a time when the gaze leaves out the childhood years to reach maturity.
It is then that the daughter, who may already be a mother too, comes face to face with another woman, this tired-eyed woman and an immense affection who tried to give her best, is at this moment when the bond acquires a new bond. and wonderful transcendence.