We should all hear the voice of the heart. The truth is that none of us can be absolutely consistent every day and all the time, we are inhabited by contradictions because we love and hate at the same time, because we are brave and at the same time we flee, because we are good. and at the same time it hurts. However, we have handled these contradictions in a way that we have built a more or less coherent way of being and living.
For some people, it is not possible to build this minimum basis of coherence, they live as if they do not want to live. They work like they don’t want to work, they love it like they don’t want to love. In such cases, there is a strong dichotomy between what a person feels in his heart and what he actually practices with his actions, it is as if he is living a borrowed existence.
“My crown is on my heart, not on my head? William Shakespeare
There’s a lot of cases. People who don’t like their partner but still have a relationship, people who go to work every day and all they desperately want is time to leave, there are also those who have chosen a profession they hate or who seem to love the people around them all the time, when they would actually like to see them disappear.
Obviously, we all have days or stages in which we hate the way we live, at certain times we lose our taste for work, feel distant from our loved one or get rid of everything around us, but when, in short, we are connected to life from the bottom of our hearts, these episodes are fleeting and easily overcome.
Certainly many people who cannot live the life of their heart will say that it is by an external limitation, if they hate their work but stay there, they will argue that the bills at the end of the month are not waiting and Being very difficult to get a new job, however, they are also not looking for work and do not make any effort to leave a job they say they hate.
It is even more common in romantic relationships. I’m sure you know someone who constantly complains about their partner and keeps doing it for years and years. If you say leave that person, you’ll say that one day you will, or that you won’t be able to leave because of the children, he shared. funding or religious beliefs.
That’s when someone asks: if it is impossible to overcome this situation, why not look for a way to adapt to it?, and if it is possible to overcome it, why not do what is necessary to end this so-called torment?
It is in these cases that the heart goes from one side and the life on the other. The person suffers and feels trapped, but sees no way out of this maze. Or do you think it’s life? And it must be accepted; or thinks he can’t make a change. Basically, what works is an unconscious force she doesn’t know.
Almost everyone thinks our reasons for acting are quite clear, although we often give vague answers to people who ask us why we do what we do. The fact is, the human mind is much more complex than that. a vast area unknown to us, where the deepest and most authentic motives of what we do are housed.
Since we were born, we have been subject to the desires of others, our parents build a conscious sense of our existence, but they also place unconscious expectations and desires in our lives.
A depressed mother, for example, conveys the love she can give, but also a certain gray aura around everything that happens; a distant father gives love in his own way, but he also transforms into an inaccessible ghost that one wants to please and approach. getting good grades, or being “very wise,” or creating problems anywhere.
If your heart goes on one side and your life on the other, what happens is that there is a contradiction between your conscious desire and your unconscious desire. You probably live the way someone wants or wants to live. This someone is certainly one. of your parents or relevant characters from your childhood.
And you want to please them, but deep down you know you’re motivated by someone else’s desire, yet something inside you prevents you from rebelling and claiming an authentic life, made according to your own desires, that something is the child’s fear of losing the love of the people you unconsciously depend on.
Deep down in each of us we saw an unprotected child who would do everything necessary not to lose love, attention, and care for his parents, some learn to recognize the resources they have to create an individual life from these shadows.
Others, on the other hand, continue to gravitate into an unresolved unconscious conflict with one of their parents. They grow, study, work and become doctors or even presidents, but they feel they are not themselves.