Narcissistic families are real spider webs, in them some of their members, especially children, relate to the children of emotional suffering, in this dynamic there is always someone who puts their own needs before others, thus erecting an absolute power. , in many cases, is used to boycott and manipulate for the sole purpose: to be nurtured, recognized and validated at all levels.
Those who grew up in a dysfunctional environment with these kinds of characteristics often agree when it comes to reflecting a reality: “from the outside, everyone thought my family was perfect, but behind the doors we lived in hell. “It is not easy to get out of these situations, and while such links often have their own fingerprints and peculiarities, it could be said that, in essence, narcissistic families share several points in common.
- The most characteristic is undoubtedly the existence of a set of very specific tácita rules that develop within these toxic and.
- Above all.
- Pathological houses.
- Are high standards around one person and where to the rest any right.
- Any recognition is prohibited.
- It is therefore common for children not to have emotional access to their parents.
- To leave them unattended.
- And to be subjected to miserable and permanent abuse.
On the other hand, it is very common for all these types of dynamics to be silenced forever in the branches of our family tree, in fact, when the child has become an adult and is finally able to get out of this degrading environment, it is common that the father, mother or both call him “bad son”. Let him abandon you, for daring to cut that connection.
Sara is 20 years old and studying psychology. He hasn’t lived with his parents in a year, and now, in the distance, he tries to rebuild his life, he takes this perspective and reconstructs internal fragments to overcome the past and try to move on, his wound focuses on the narcissistic. family with which he grew up and where the power play began and was shared between the two parents.
Her father suffered from a kind of personality disorder, she knows now from her studies. However, no one has ever dared to recommend that you come to a professional for help, you did not do so because the context in which you lived made your possible narcissistic disease extremely functional The reason?The mother was the instrumental piece, but also one more victim, someone who gave in to each of her needs and who never managed to impose limits.
Sara, on the other hand, was the “scapegoat”, the projection screen of a narcissistic father, the receptacle of his frustrations, failures and angers. Her older sister, however, was the “golden girl”, that is, the figure that the narcissist usually shapes her in her own image and, for some reason, felt that she was endowed with better talent than Sara. The situation affected her so much that she thought there was really something in itself.
Once the portrait is done, it can be assumed that it is no easy task to get out of these environments, just because the fact that I grew up in them does not mean that it has incorporated many destructive and rhetorical patterns that create a considerable impact on the child’s mind These are some of the main dynamics:
Mark Twain wrote in his book Huckleberry Finn that we do not need to be defined by the injuries suffered by family systems. In a corner of our hearts, there is always a part of our being that remains “optimistic”, vital and that must allow us to lack the “absolute nothingness” for happiness. To achieve this, to get out of this sterile and poisonous environment created by narcissistic families, it is never to think too much about these dimensions.
In conclusion, living in an environment where emotional principles are misunderstood is neither healthy nor tolerable, much less if there are children in this dysfunctional context, the most common thing is that when they reach adulthood they become these people unable to say, right?Or to understand that they have the right to set limits, to say what they want, what they need and what they will not tolerate.
Then we have to keep this information very present in our minds.