Emotional debts have an effect similar to that of material debts: they cause anguish, generate guilt and become an obstacle that makes life difficult, the difference is that if financial debts are specific and have agreed terms, emotional debts are usually the The result of fantasies and, for this reason, they are confusing and misleading.
Emotional debt occurs when you commit to yourself or others to do something and you cannot fulfill it, sometimes this commitment is explicit: you say out loud that you will do it, but other times the debt is configured unconsciously and not even You know for sure whether or not you should comply with something that you know is expected of you, but that practice that you never promised to do.
- The truth is that once you accept.
- Consciously or unconsciously.
- That you owe something.
- Emotionally.
- This will create a permanent self-demand.
- And if you don’t.
- As is often the case.
- The messages that mark and torment you will appear permanently in you.
- Making you feel guilty.
You repeat in different ways that “you have an unpaid debt”, and this can even become a powerful force that will condition your actions and prevent you from achieving your goals.
Emotional debts can arise in outstanding situations that, for various reasons, have been suspended, an example of this is when you say something offensive, unfair, or hostile to a person and that same person suddenly disappears.
This sudden disappearance may be due to a death or the fact that the person has decided to walk away from you without you being able to do anything, then there is the bitter taste of not having had the opportunity to ask for forgiveness, to explain your behavior. or to make peace.
There are other types of emotional debts, more complex and imperceptible, that arise from commitments you implicitly make to others or to yourself. When you were a kid, maybe you thought about becoming a doctor and saving a lot of lives, it was his dream. But you’ve grown up and your life has taken a different turn. The dream was “soaked”, but even today you are haunted by the idea that you have disappointed, that you have given up an essential mission of your existence.
It can also happen that the parent or other person with which you have a very strong emotional bond generates a commitment, maybe it’s someone else who would like you to be a great doctor or a successful athlete, but you’ve achieved other goals and still. something makes you uncomfortable and makes you think repeatedly that you’re indebted to these loved ones.
Finally, emotional debts can also result from negative or traumatic experiences for you, for example, did you suffer an affront when you were at school: did a group of friends intimidate you? And you didn’t react. Over the years, you groan for not standing up for yourself and feel indebted to yourself.
There is a popular saying that “there is no unfulfilled deadline, no unpaid debt. “It also adapts to emotional debts. When you accept the fact that you owe someone, consciously or unconsciously, you’ll look for ways to pay off the debt, is it like you’re missing?or “sinful,” and this will result in a series of negative feelings and perceptions about yourself.
Emotional debts easily turn into sadness without, apparently, any reason to feel that way. Or in anguish: an imprecise anguish, from which we do not know where it comes from, but which remains dormant within it.
You can also become a nervous, pessimistic or envious person, or that kind of person who is always angry and who, at the same time, is ashamed to do and not do, to say and not to say. many ways to pay off an unresolved debt in your life.
If there is an accumulation of emotional debt, there will also be an accumulation of sadness, anger, resentment, or distress. If you’re overwhelmed by negative feelings, but can’t explain why you feel that way, it’s worth analyzing any emotional debts you may have. exist in your life.
Is there a situation that hasn’t had a clear result, is there an expression of affection, rejection or outrage that has been blocked, are there fantasies about what you could have been or should have done but didn’t realize?
These and other similar questions are the ones you have to ask yourself, if you identify specific situations that make you feel like you have an emotional debt, what you have to do is pay your bills, objectively remedy what you can and symbolically repair the impossible to change. .