I still see couples who have spent their lives with the same couple, it’s not that common these days, but it still happens, they started dating in adolescence, they got married, they had children and they stayed together at an advanced age for many years. I have a friend whose husband is her childhood boyfriend. Marriage is always good and works. He often says, “We were kids together, we grew up together, we learned together, and we grew up and we grew old together. “
There is no doubt that this type of relationship is a rarity, many others, after being married for a while, separate or spend their lives fighting and get used to living badly?One tolerates the other, does one’s difficulty reinforce that of the other?In some cases, during courtship, everything worked and worked; so I don’t know what’s going on, things are going wrong. A close person left for nearly eight years, and when she and her partner decided to get married, the relationship didn’t last two years, this happens much longer than we thought. .
- I am curious about long relationships.
- Especially today.
- In which immediacy and superficiality are gaining more and more ground and notoriety.
- Most people do not warm up with anything and do not stick to anyone.
- Everything is fast.
- Ephemeral and disposable.
- In addition the demand is greater than the supply.
- The market is very competitive.
- Who has next to him an interesting person who embraces and values him.
- Because it is not easy to find someone decent.
- Determined and willing to share life.
- The competition is fierce and aggressive.
Nor can we forget that there are many relationships between facades and windows, many of which are only visible to the English. Today, some people still live long and bankrupt marriages because of their heritage, the fear of facing life alone, each other’s difficulties. , children, the benefits offered; with that, they look fat at other things.
In love there are no victims or villains, I am talking about relationships that are considered normal (although even this varies from couple to couple, from person to person, because what I consider normal, the other may not consider). , but let’s talk about these conservative Cartesian relationships. There is not one that benefits and the other that we benefit from. Everyone benefits in their own way and both are responsible for the success or failure of the relationship. Sometimes it is used and the other is allowed to use, because it suits her. There are others who seem exploited, but in reality they are the ones who benefit the most. They tend to pose as victims when it suits them and always have a list of charges to use at the right time. These are the official counters of the relationship: how much was it worth, how much did it receive, how much did it leave behind, how much do you deserve, how much can you still receive?
The relationship is a contract, a game. In this document no one does for the other anything that is not authorized or desired by him. There is always profit for both, if only to meet the needs and difficulties of each. The ratio is 50% of one and 50% of the other; when there is an imbalance in that percentage, and it is very difficult not to have one, surely one will perform more than the other, and one of the parties will benefit the most, the one that yields the most is the one that will be the most unhappy in the relationship or who will have the greatest bargaining power over the other in the future when it comes to reporting on the gains that will result from it , what you’ve done, something you might be interested in later. Both good and bad things are shared, although there are a lot of people who just want the network of the relationship I don’t know anyone who likes to keep what’s not right!
I see this uneven movement quite often. In the “dance of love” the two poles alternate all the time. Of course, some try to minimize their responsibilities when something is wrong or not interesting. They start to put the couple (a) as a villain () and vice versa. , as if they themselves had no interference or participation in the case. Everything that’s happened seems out of your control. The person is placed in the position of mere viewer of the relationship itself, as if possible. There’s no way to talk about guilt or mistake in love. Both parties involved are responsible for the story they interpreted and which was written, built by both. The end will give it themselves according to what each one has done for the other. However, it should always be Did you remember that there are many people who confuse love with other personal difficulties, for example: obsession, fixation, addiction, insecurity?
Can’t we think that the other will be our savior, our redeemer, and draw us out of difficulties, heal all our problems, lead us to life?We must be sufficient, because we know that there is no point in persisting in relationships in which the inadequacy of marital dance lives in eternal imbalance, especially in which there are no important affinities or common goals; we must not stay in situations of love where everyone is more concerned with their own problems and interests than about one’s own relationship, in which only discussions, demands, respect and complicity have long since disappeared.
Some people are used to blaming and blaming others for their own misfortune, especially when there is nothing left, and there is nothing else in common, nor respect, discord is total. Sad are these relationships in which, after a few years, the couple looks back and realizes that the balance is negative: there are only children left, when they have them, who will also, for an hour, chart their own paths. It’s hard to feel that life has passed and that a lot of time has been wasted because of bad decisions and thoughtless decisions. We must be careful, whenever possible, in choosing the right partnership, if we want to share the way of life.
However, until people realize the sad situation in which they are, they stay there for a long time, are in trouble up to their necks and, above all, in the consequences that result from this history, that is why we must have the strength to break the vicious cycle imposed by most traditional relationships and to fulfill so that in the future we seek healthier and happier relationships.