Attachment is understood as a bond, a very strong emotional bond that determines personality development, how we relate to others and everything around us, and even how we see life, yet attachment has one drawback: nothing is permanent, none of this is really ours.
A certain type of attachment is required. It is he who needs a stable figure in the first years of life for a correct cognitive and emotional development later, on the other hand, the insecure attachment is one that fills us with anxiety and fear in front of the object or person for whom we feel this feeling. In fact, all relationships have a certain component of attachment, although not all types are healthy.
- Some of our relationships may worry about the prospect of loss.
- To avoid this we must remember that.
- Whatever life has given us.
- It is just a loan.
- Because nothing is permanent.
- Being grateful is the first step to having a strong bond.
- People around us.
- The same goes for work.
- Holidays and any situation of the present moment.
“Thank you all for all that life gives you; After all, is this what you’ve grown?
Having relationships in which we feel safe is not a gift, but an art that requires willpower and practice. When a relationship is maintained only by habit and there are no other reasons to make sense of it, we face an insecure attachment. . The ideal thing for our mental hygiene is to end this situation.
If we do not learn to let go, if we do not let it go, the consequences will be much more negative, if attachment can do more than we do and we become stagnant, stuck in dreams, fantasies and illusions, suffering will continue to grow and Sadness will be our travel companion. Buddha, in one of his famous phrases, indicated that the source of suffering is precisely attachment.
Nothing belongs to you completely, life lends you, introduces you so that you learn to appreciate and also to say goodbye.
However, not all attachments are bad, some are necessary and useful, a safe attachment is based on knowing how to get the most out of what we have right now, without you having to be by our side to be well. makes us suffer with a new vision, we will understand that it is not this object that causes us pain, but the way we adhere to it.
Our problem with attachment is that we see things as permanent entities, in the effort to achieve our goals we use aggression and competition as supposedly effective tools, and in the process we are increasingly destroyed, to avoid this it is necessary to understand that nothing is permanent.
“People are as beautiful as sunset, if we allow it. Actually, the reason we really enjoyed a sunset is that we can’t control it?Carl Rogers?”
Our cultural context invites us to live according to others: parents, children, loving couples, etc. From a young age we have the idea of romantic love, the one in which the members of the couple cannot and should not live far from each other. However, addiction to romantic relationships is very harmful and makes us emotionally incompetent.
Addiction, like any other construction (mental construction created from simple elements to be part of a theory), is neither good nor bad in itself, to some extent it is always present in our lives, this is something that we must all admit. the world and ourselves, because it would lead us to recognize and develop healthier relationship styles with other people.
Today there is a tendency to treat addiction with some contempt, as if it were a sign of weakness, however, if we think about it well, almost every aspect of life is the result of the efforts of others, our precious and magnificent independence may be more of an illusion, or a fantasy, than a tangible fact. To have a happy life, we need friends, good health and material goods; It is interesting to note that these are areas where we depend on other people.
Our need for others is a paradox. While in our current culture we extol the fiercest independence, we also aspire to intimacy and connection with a special and loved one, so the secret is to love, but without need.
“In our crazy attempts, we give up who we are for who we want to be. “William Shakespeare?