When you are a parent, ensuring the safety of children is a priority that is born and established among the most powerful motivations. While we know that this is an impossible mission, many parents do not give up protecting children from all that is real, likely and unlikely dangers that may arise, thus protecting the little ones from suffering and needs also becomes a necessity.
The rule is that many of these parents will understand that protecting their children from threats, especially when they begin to gain independence, is an impossible mission, however cautious, there will be suffering that parents cannot and should not take away from them. children because they will be part of the stimuli needed for their growth.
- “People talk about most people.
- That doesn’t exist.
- When a person has a child.
- He is doomed to be a father for life.
- It’s the children who are moving away from their parents.
- But can’t parents get away from them?” -Graham Greene-.
Some parents, however, decide not to accept this fact, they also take an omnipotent position in their children’s lives, they believe that if they are present nothing bad will happen, as if that were true, as if there were not a thousand dangers. impossible to avoid, even for a mother or father who devotes all their resources to this purpose.
Ensuring the safety of children then becomes an obsession. This mainly results in constant surveillance that leaves them progressively exhausted. At the same time, these types of parents often maintain an attitude of distrust of others and the world.
Inadvertently, a parent corresponding to the portrait we describe begins to transform into a voice of censorship. The word? No, he shows up at all times and is almost always accompanied by a threat. Why can it happen?
Similarly, and often inadvertently, at least consciously, the parent begins to limit children’s experiences. “Better not go to the park because it’s too cold and you can catch a cold. “of the house too long because the street is full of dangers. “
Do animals transmit diseases, burns, water? The whole world is becoming a great danger, the idea is that the only thing that can make them disappear is the presence of that father or mother, sometimes the child thinks that is true.
A child safety-obsessed parent will say that he only wants to protect, and he does so for the sake of the little ones, if someone questions this behavior he has a list of good arguments to defend his attitudes, which often involve accusations. One left the child alone, then he fell and broke a finger. Ciclano doesn’t take care of her kids and looks at how bad they are.
These parents call it “protection,” but it’s actually much less presentable. The correct word is “control”. They control parents, who have no problem directing and protecting their children’s lives to the extreme, want to see every step that the little ones take. Make a direct intervention in each project that your children undertake, to be present all the time, as an omnipotent shadow, this attitude usually continues once the children have left childhood.
Every parent, at some point, is tempted to act with the child as if it were an object that belongs to him, the parents who are in this situation of obsession are not bad people, see the child born and take care of him. creates a very close bond. Not everyone is prepared to have such intimate ailments while knowing that they must take the intrinsic risk involved.
Many parents obsessed with the safety of the children below want something else, they may want to extend this bond as long as possible. Not giving up the idea that children will always need their parents to do everything, it takes away their idea that it is part of the natural law of life that children follow their lives without the unconditional need of their parents. What exists is the fear of admitting that it is a relationship dedicated to change, to a gradual separation.
It is very likely that these obsessive parents have not had good experiences of loss, they may still have difficulty resolving. They are afraid that their children will no longer need them as much as they do today and set out to conquer the world alone, so they are responsible for scaring the children, of showing them everything that can happen wrong to them when they do not have the protection. mantle of his parents.
Sometimes excessive care also covers rejection. The father or mother does not want the child as much as he would like and defends himself from this unconscious feeling by exaggerating the care, in any case, behind these obsessive forms of protection, there is always something that is wrong and needs to be analyzed.