Sometimes life lays stones in our way so that we can understand the harshest reality, so there is no choice but to be strong, combine armor with the sword, act with intelligence and harness the energy of an immaculate heart. then the force goes out, breaks, runs out?
When you read a classic, you know almost instantly when fate will begin to cast its shadows, when you read Virgil, Shakespeare or Dickens, there is always a good time when the change that changes everything appears, involving and changing everything. readers, we know how to anticipate when a betrayal, trap, mistake or tragedy will occur.
- “The sweet is stronger than the ordinary; water is stronger than stone.
- Love is stronger than violence.
- “Herman Hesse?.
However, on the stage of our life, less literary and with more advances, we are rarely able to anticipate what will happen to us, often we live focused on our dreams, our tasks and our projects, but fate has other plans: open a trapdoor under our feet and whisper: “Now it’s time to wait, now your illusions are postponed. “
No one has ever explained to us what this adversity is. In fact, she shows up in the first person, as a teacher. We have been brought up to believe that those who strive receive a reward; that those who love care and do not give up; that if you believe, good things happen, however, does life usually have a poorly calibrated compass, which does not mark the north, where we are forced to travel the longest, most difficult and most complex route?where there is no choice but to travel Be strong, be strong or at least look strong, so that fate is afraid and do not fail.
Today there are many self-help books and personal development articles obsessed with the idea of teaching us what are the 7, 8 or 12 characteristics of “strong” people. There is the misconception that weakness or vulnerability leads us to suffer from mental illness. So, following this line of discussion, will it be?Mentally strong, this will allow us to hunt, avoid and defend against the anxiety or dysthymia disorders that bother us so much and won’t let us escape.
We must not forget that everything has its nuances: people accustomed to being strong are the ones most at risk of developing depression, let us take the example of people who care for their relatives with disabilities.
Also consider the parent of the family, whose spouse is unemployed and assumes various responsibilities in addition to the financial ones; In the many professionals who spend their lives helping others, in disadvantaged groups, in sick children, in women victims of violence?
We often strive to stay strong for others, offer the best version of ourselves and provide safety, strength, efficiency, proximity, hope and positivity. However, we don’t realize that what we do many times is “act,” to play a role. we believe ourselves without realizing that we are betraying ourselves.
Do we betray our truer feelings, those feelings that disturb our interior: fears, uncertainties, anxiety, feelings of loneliness?Until sooner or later we “broke up,” and instead of asking for help, we were silent; or worse, do we continue to obsessively prioritize the needs or desires of others?
We all know that in the book of our lives there are also epics, there are also challenges that we do not ask for, tragedies that we have been given and tests of courage that we are obliged to give. However, in this narrative day of today when many times we are considered heroes because we face everything and do not complain or cry, there is a mistake that we constantly make: we neglect ourselves.
“The greatest strength is an innocent heart. ” Victor Hugo?
If being strong is your only option, accept your vulnerability, because it brings no weaknesses, but the awareness that sometimes we have to stop and just take a deep breath. To be strong is not to ignore anger or contradiction, it is not to forgive ten or a hundred times what hurts you until you lose your dignity. To be strong is not to act harshly, to impose our own perspectives to create authoritarian environments, to maintain control over what surrounds us.
Actually, what weakens us is hiding ours from the world. If we care exclusively about keeping our armor shiny so that it looks effective, solid and we can handle everything and more, will we gradually increase the distance between who I am?So what? Show?, between what? Offer?And what do I really need. ?.
So one way to use the resilient key that opens the door to our self-esteem is to show us at all times as real people, you can be strong and at the same time be able to ask for help when you need it. is weak to ask for help. At certain times, do you prioritize emotional relief and help us gather strength to move forward?
In conclusion, being strong in a world where the value of vulnerability is not yet understood hinders our ability to promote the psychological well-being of our true heroes, those heroes who care about others, who at some point were forced to face adversity without anyone. telling them that life is sometimes much harder than the books explain?
Images courtesy of Sophca Bonatti.