Oh, my God, I hurt you a lot. Now that you’re in front of the mirror and I have the courage to look you in the eye, I want you to listen to me carefully, I have so much to say, so much to regret, that I can’t go on living as if nothing had happened. happened It’s not fair.
More than once I tried to hold this conversation with you, but I wasn’t prepared, the fear, disappointment and suffering of facing everything I’ve done to you over the years has stuck to my throat and prevented me from saying a word?
I preferred to pretend nothing had happened, I came to believe it
You know? Sometimes we think we’re ready, we think we’re strong and we can do anything, but we’re also wrong. That’s what happened to me: did you have a blindfold?
Now I can look at your face and recognize you in the mirror, I no longer run away from you or my complexes. You are no longer invisible to me. I see you, I see myself, I see us. We accept.
This reunion, this rediscovery made me very happy, but I still feel a nailed spine that does not let me fully enjoy. After all, what is un excused reconciliation?So, with the intention of strengthening that bond, I wrote this letter.
“The worst loneliness is not feeling comfortable with yourself. “- Mark Twain-
Oh, my God, I’m sorry I hurt you so much. Forgetting you, pushing you back, even denying yourself and dressing up in what you weren’t. Camouflage yourself, put on masks?
I’ve met people. Too bad you did a lot of damage. The feeling of rejection is one of the deepest emotional wounds we can feel.
I denied you and with that I denied myself, hiding who we are is one of the worst betrayals we can commit, it becomes invisible to you. And how it hurts!
I can’t help but think about how much I’ve thought about you, me, us. The contempt he had for us. There was nothing to do right. I remember how I arrested you for blaming you and making you feel powerless.
Whether physical, personality or punctual behavior, I couldn’t stand you. At the time, did you think you had nothing to offer me, nothing I could appreciate?
My dear, I am sorry to have demanded too much of you, for beating you with destructive words and for criticizing everything that did not live up to my expectations, I know that when I spoke to you I was rude and when you waited for a gesture of affection, I responded coldly.
Pardonne-moi. Au place to hug you, I distanced myself and this created a spiral of discomfort that is getting deeper and deeper.
So many times have I silenced you, even if you asked me for help inside?Sorry, I closed myself to you, me, until I couldn’t do it anymore, until my chest exploded because of the pressure I felt and my mood did. I don’t remember what it was like to feel good, calm and happy. I destroyed.
And although I don’t want this situation for anyone, thanks to my shipwreck I discovered that you still exist, that you’re there, waiting for my eyes to turn to you at some point. Again, I’m sorry for hurting you so much.
My God, from now on I want this bond that we must be different, I want to protect you. That’s why I’m proposing an agreement: we’ll bet on ourselves, me for you and you for me. Let’s be one, instead of the fake hero and the executioner. Let’s be complicit.
I promise to listen to you, even though it hurts sometimes, I know you have important things to tell me, now I’m not going to steal your voice, on the contrary, if it’s in my hands I’ll make you speak louder.
I want to meet you, rediscover you, know all your details: what you like and don’t like, the good of you and what needs to be improved. All.
I can’t guarantee it won’t hurt you, it’s impossible. We all make mistakes, but what I’m saying is that I won’t do anything with bad intentions and think of us. In our happiness, being who we are.
Because after trying thousands of costumes I realized that if it wasn’t with you it wouldn’t be with anyone, I’ve tried the price of betrayal and I can say that this is one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had.
I will respect you and when you feel bad I will care about you, I will put myself in your place, in everything you have happened, I will try to understand you.
Instead of blaming you, asking you why, I’m going to ask you what’s your thing, because only then can I understand what’s happening to you, what keeps you away and what you’re worried about.
I will embrace your fears and your hurts. Everything I have learned has taught me that it is impossible to move on without dialogue, listening and understanding, fighting with anger and hatred separates me only from you and immerses me in disgust, sadness and pain, and that I do not want to stop. you or me.
I know that life is difficult and that there will be moments of tension and failure, moments when we would like not to go on or change course, but let me walk with you, I know I hurt you, I let you down, but let’s try.
I want to build bridges to well-being and acceptance, I want us to be one instead of two, I want this bond to grow and fill us with peace and love, I want to hold your hand again, so I’m not going to let you walk.
What do you say, do you accept the agreement?
“The most important relationship you will have is the relationship with yourself. ” – Steve Maraboli-