Certainly you have felt many times that you cannot control a discomfort, and that all the initiatives you take seem to contribute to making it more intense, then you will have come to the conclusion that controlling a torrent of unpleasant emotions that have trouble getting out is a rather complicated task . Sometimes the key turns out to be tolerating this discomfort without facing it directly.
Have you ever heard of tolerance for frustration?and how good it is to educate our children about this principle. Principle loaded with common sense since life will not always give us what we want according to our interests, nor will it take into account when we want it or how we want it.
- Life will frustrate us.
- It is as if it pushes us to be stronger.
- Many times the plans will not go as planned and this change will not be worse if we know how to put it in our favor.
- There will be unexpected changes that will change our lives and put the test on us.
That’s why it’s important to educate our little ones based on this principle. Otherwise, when they are frustrated, they will throw in the towel or anger will take hold of them. Frustration must be handled intelligently.
Something similar happens with discomfort. It is a dull pain that appears and does not disappear easily, appears with meaning and reason as any emotion, so it is important to listen and interpret this meaning, so that once we hear it and understand we can act.
It’s not about covering your ears or taking a blind eye to what you don’t like, it’s not about letting it flood our lives and taking control of our behavior. That’s exactly what ACCEPT means. These are the acronyms for a number of very useful skills to tolerate the discomfort and anxiety that often invade us.
It’s about doing an activity that you love and in which you feel comfortable and realized, an activity in which you can sink and that gives you peace of mind, being that source of positive feelings that has rarely failed you Find yours?Everyone will choose an activity that corresponds to their way of being and what they want to feel at that time.
For some, he’ll draw what they think. Others will pedal or run, and for others it will be better to play a musical instrument, look for your activity and let it calm that discomfort so that it happens little by little.
When are we talking about? Contribute? We intend to dedicate our time to the interests of others, helping or collaborating with others for the simple pleasure of doing so, it is about feeling useful and improving our environment, when we contribute to the well-being of those around us, our Sense of Effectiveness increases and, as a result, discomfort also tends to disappear.
Sometimes comparing yourself to someone who is going through a worse situation relieves us in a certain way, or even compares to another time when you were in a more difficult situation, all of this makes us distance ourselves from how we feel. ourselves in the eye of the storm.
The place where chaos develops and develops, in this sense to move away from the center of this destructive force and make a realistic assessment of our situation is a healthy exercise for discomfort to abandon us, which will prevent, for example, further abuse. our self-esteem.
This point is closely related to the first, that of activity, we need to motivate emotions other than those we feel, and one way to do it can be through activities, this will help us get out of the emotional state that we love so much. little.
In that sense, don’t worry about what others think or might think, don’t lock yourself in the house after a breakup, no matter what others think, otherwise the relationship doesn’t matter, if that’s what you want to do it, but if you think it’s not what you should be doing, don’t do it. The person who criticizes you probably isn’t the one who’ll help you or the person who loves you.
Avoid? We are talking about leaving in the background for a while this situation that causes us so much discomfort, this idea is not valid for all situations, but for many of them it is. you make an effort to focus your mental attention away from the cause.
We’ll take care of that later, if necessary. Doing another activity will help us reduce the level of discomfort we feel, which will help us once again stay away from this emotional hurricane.
Sometimes we just have to stop feeding emotions with thoughts. When we do, a lot of emotions just die. For example, it is very positive to learn from mistakes, especially not to repeat them; what is not positive is that we remain perpetually sorry, generating hypotheses and alternative worlds that respond to ‘what would have happened if’.
Learn, repair and forget. Remember to teach, but forget about it. Don’t come back several times to punish yourself. If you do this, you will get lost, because all punishments of this kind end up becoming a maze of shadows in which only fear lives.
At this point, we can create a feeling that we will perceive intensely to help decentralize our attention to the discomfort we feel. With feelings, we mean what we can perceive with our senses. A good meal, a film that inspires us, a relaxing massage?
Feelings that anchor us in life and make us feel that we are part of our existence, so being able to tolerate the discomfort we feel is something that must be born in us, it is also a task for which there are different strategies or steps. , as we have seen, they are far from being confronted directly with the discomfort in question.