As far as we believe, a nail will never pull out another nail, start a new emotional relationship as someone looking for a pain pain reliever from a recent rupture is not the best option, this nail nail nailed to our heart can only be removed with the hammer that nailed it: putting another means further enlarging the hole.
Nobody is prepared to survive a sentimental breakup, as Dr. Vicente Garrido explains, many times we tend to despair when we try to find out why, it is difficult to understand that sometimes relationships fail because people must have free will, because love is ends or simply because the other person is not mature enough to live with that responsibility.
- Assuming the last goodbye.
- The distance and having to start a new life with a void on the other side of the bed and.
- Worse.
- In the heart.
- Is desperate.
- Our brain enters a state of “alarm”.
- Interpreting this pain as something real.
- As an impact very similar to that of a burn.
- We need to relieve this burn with a good dose of dopamine.
- With something easy and fast that numbs the pain of the soul.
There are those who manage to avoid these processes by carrying out an adequate acceptance process, a slow and delicate procedure in which the person repairs the broken parts one by one; Others, on the other hand, refuse to accept the end and seek a desperate reconciliation with their partner, and finally, there are those who undertake a path that does not always work: that of “surrogate” relationships.
The classic expression who, a nail removes another nail?appears for the first time in the book of Marcus Tulio Cicero?Tusculana Disputes?in mid-44 BC. This text was addressed to Marcus Brutus and, at one point, speaking of the evil of love, he wrote: “Novo amore, veteram amorem, tamquam clavo clavum, eficiendum putant?(Does the new love bring out old love, as one nail removes the other?).
Of course, there’s nothing like reconnecting with a stable, happy and mature relationship to give you another chance, but only if you’re really prepared for it, because the truth is that no one is irreplaceable, what we’re not is interchangeable. you have to act as a dressing for anguish, as a momentary painkiller of the melancholy of unresolved love.
Lucy Brown, a neuroscientist at Einstein Medical University and a specialist in brain responses to love, explains that, on average, overcoming an emotional breakdown can take between 6 months and two years. There are many individual differences; however, according to several studies, it is men who take the longest to recover. Women, in turn, experience a stronger emotional impact, but overcome ruptures earlier.
The end of a relationship is experienced as a traumatic act because our brain is programmed to connect with other people, and when we build this psychic tendon based on affection and love, few things can be so rewarding. Breaking this bond is a real chemical disaster. .
If during the first phase of the relationship passion is linked to the most primitive part of our brain, loss and that state in which one is lost in the bitterness of pain also emerges from this oldest area, for a time emotion dominates reason. Even if it’s slowly, we come out of these tear-flavored mists and loneliness.
Starting a new relationship shortly after completing one in a complex and painful way doesn’t mean you can’t relieve, distract and make us laugh and enjoy, but if we don’t go through the time of pain properly, can we?the ultimate: we are hungry for love, to be comforted, we seek intensity, not the calm that would certainly remind us of those who no longer love us.
We don’t want compromises, and something like that can cause serious side effects: that the other person, for example, falls in love when we’re just looking for a substitute, emotional anesthesia. However, it is clear that every person is a world and that perhaps even this risky act can work; but the fate of any nail is to hammer it. So, before you make a bigger hole, you’d better think about it.
Start a relationship just to feed needs, needs and frustrations is?What do you need from the other person, like the thief who walks into a house at night to steal?It’s not legal.
There is a time to cry and a time to love again, but not to love others, but to love yourself again, because the spirit that carries resentments and broken dreams feeds low self-esteem in the heart, and no one, absolutely nothing. one, can be happy with this kind of luggage.