Authentic people speak without fear; say what they think and act according to their beliefs, but they need to know how, when, to whom and why to say things in their own way, they need to master the space and tone of their voice, that is, they need to develop what we call “social skills”.
Social skills are much more than expressing your opinions, they serve to interact and connect with others effectively and satisfactorily. They are our way of showing ourselves to the world, they are our social identity card; show our essence as human beings.
- In addition.
- Lack of social competence can be an impediment or the basis of many psychological disorders.
- So this ability is not only important if we want to be authentic people.
- But also for our own psychological well-being and a good relationship with the people around us.
Time and place say more about the person than they want to show
Authentic people think before they speak and listen attentively; Empathize when you talk to someone. He understands that two people may not have the same opinion, but they all have the right to be listened to with respect.
Our biggest problem communicating with others is that we don’t listen to understand, but we listen to respond. Besides, many times you end up not listening to what the other person has to say.
Listening is an art and skill that can be learned, listening means being attentive and listening to what the other person says, letting the other person speak and maintaining a correct posture, here are some keys to be a good contact.
? Maintain responsive body posture: Contact yourself visually and relax your facial expression. Give yourself up from time to time to make him realize you’re paying attention. Don’t cross your arms or legs, as these small physical barriers can deter others from approaching you. .
? Don’t interrupt the conversation: It may be tempting to end the other person’s prayer to show that you understand the message or to explain why you think it’s wrong, but it may seem like rude of you. Bite your tongue? Until the other person has finished talking.
? Encourage dialogue: the most powerful word in a dialogue is “Tell Me”. People feel good when you ask them questions and listen carefully to their answers. It will show that we understand what you mean and that the person will sympathize with us.
? Give the word: a dialogue is not a monologue, never monopolize the conversation, let the other person speak, involve it in the conversation by asking questions or suggesting interesting topics to discuss.
Authentic people don’t always please others because they know how to say yes or no if necessary. They know how to agree or disagree in all situations and do not feel guilty. They master an important part of social skills called “assertiveness. “
Assertiveness is a form of communication that consists in defending rights, expressing opinions and making suggestions honestly, without falling into aggression or passivity, respecting others and above all respecting one’s needs.
This is a very important skill, because expressing your true feelings and defending your rights can be very comforting, when you say what you want, whether you get it or not, you live happier and more authentic.
The first step to being more assertive is to recognize and demonstrate your feelings. If you’re honest and understand that the other can’t read your thoughts, nothing you say will be wrong. Respect when the other speaks and remember that you are defending “your truth, “not the “absolute truth”; your point of view is as valuable as your interlocutor’s.
Keep a proper tone of voice, without shouting, to reinforce your opinion, keep in mind that it is not shouting what will give you more reason, the same goes for the distance between the two people: if you get too close you can look aggressive and hinder communication; respect interpersonal space.
If you want to be an authentic person and have not mastered any of the social skills mentioned here, do not worry: social skills can be acquired, are not innate skills, are acquired through observation and experience, this development occurs mainly In childhood, the first years of life are fundamental to learning these skills.
But that doesn’t mean adults can’t learn, there are many psychological therapies that are used to teach social skills, most combine direct social experiences, imitations and reinforcements for their learning.
So if you want to be an authentic person but don’t have or don’t master social skills, you can consult a psychologist and follow all the steps we show you in this article, so you can be an authentic person and speak without fear. .