It’s so strange. Today I look at your face in the photos and it seems that I don’t even know you, just a hint of familiarity, a trace of the affection I had so much for that radiant smile, it’s hard to admit, but it looks like a faded photo for time, for bad weather. I strive to remember before separating the bell from your voice, the way you laugh at my nonsense, the exciting and latent urgency that his body and face clearly acquired when they loved me. I focus on remembering our simple and numerous plans, our to-do lists together, the way I’ve often realized you’re looking at me.
I try to remember your tenderness, your concern, the way you took my hand, the way you made me feel special, the worst part is that pain not only remembers these things, but to see what they have already done for a few months. with what we’ve been through: I look at your photos and I don’t recognize you, I need an effort to remember those moments we’ve been through, that we smile, that we welcome, your presence fades from me. That’s what hurts I wasn’t ready, I’m not ready.
- I wanted to disconnect from so many things and so many people recently.
- I did a general cleansing of my emotional life and I didn’t have the courage to put you in this pack of old things to give away.
- But.
- Like it or not.
- Time is masterless and relentless.
- The human brain has obvious memory limitations.
- I’ve only heard 1 gigabyte.
- This HD doesn’t correspond to the huge little details of what I felt in every conversation.
- Every hug lying down.
- Every touch of my mouth I’ve ever wanted most in my life; there is no room for every terabyte of adrenaline when (seemed) I loved myself so viscerally and really during those hours in my bed noisy.
- Prolonged in endless excuses and modified schedules; nor does it correspond to the hundred megabytes of meaning I’ve seen in life when we seemed so mentally and physically connected.
- So made to happen.
yes, but fortunately. Because that same 1 gigabyte won’t keep the details of my anguish either; Your confused uncertainty at listening to you, as if you had no idea of the weight of what you were saying, that you wanted me to be a mixture of myself with someone else, so that you could be completely happy; how I cried in the fetal position for hours, thinking that I had had a piece torn off, how I didn’t remember feeling long, long ago; feel immensely stupid for living alone (thinking of living in 2); they have such cowardly silences; be literally sick because of you, and therefore be forced to take you alive in me longer than I would have liked.
But I have to help my heart restore those scattered little fragments of the sincere feeling that I once had To defragment my soul into pieces, feel again that I have to erase once and for all the remnants of infinite memory that technology makes possible, make this blurry screen of emotions a new blank page, ready to reprogram my feelings for new moments worth my energy. And in that last inhumane memory that was missing to erase you from me, I tell you today, my last goodbye.