It may be maturity, years or even resignation, but the time comes when you realize that there are discussions that are no longer worthwhile, that’s when we prefer to opt for that silence that silences and smiles, but never concedes, the only one. who finally understands that there is no point in explaining to those who do not want to understand.
However, although we often hear that arguing is an art in which everyone has a voice, but very little judgment, it is a problem that goes further, sometimes the discussions are like a dull music score, where you don’t always listen. and where everyone wants to be right or the lead voice. Sometimes it’s a very exhausting practice.
- There are discussions that.
- Before starting.
- Are already losing battles.
- Maybe it’s the years or just the fatigue.
- But are there things I don’t want to talk about anymore?.
The psychological and philosophical aspects have long taught us certain strategies to get light of any discussion, good arguments, the use of heuristic methods (methods to increase knowledge) or good emotional management would certainly be some examples, but what if what we are?Aren’t you looking to start some of the discussions we’ve already taken for granted from the beginning?
We invite you to think about it
Maturity does not depend on age, but on reaching a personal stage where you no longer want to make mistakes, where you seek inner balance, where you want to take care of words, respect what you hear and meditate on all aspects that you choose. That’s when we know which aspects of the effort are worthwhile and which ones deserve to be eliminated.
It is possible, for example, that the relationship with a close relative was complex a few years ago, to the point that having a simple conversation was like parachuting into the abyss of tension, discussion and abuse; now, however, everything has changed, not because our relationships have improved, but because there is an acceptance of our differences. We have opted for a silence that is neither agreed nor overcome, but which is respected.
Eran Halperin is an Israeli psychologist specializing in the discussion and resolution of conflicts in the political sphere, whose theories can be applied perfectly in the everyday field. According to him, he explains, the most complex and fervent discussions have the “threat”. factor, the feeling that someone intends to violate our principles or our essence.
Maturing also means having some inner confidence to consider that certain people and their arguments are no longer a threat to us, who have taken us seriously with their words no longer provokes fear or offense, respect, acceptance of others and self-esteem. that protects us are our best allies.
We already know that there are discussions in which we do not intend to lose calm or energy, however, we also understand that life is a constant negotiation to be able to live in harmony, maintain a sentimental relationship, achieve goals at work and even, why not, make agreements with our own children. Therefore, discussions are not exempt in any of these areas.
Learning to listen is natural, but listening is essential
The art of talking intelligently and without side effects requires not only a skillful strategy, but also an emotional management that we should all know how to apply in our nearest environment. We invite you to consider these simple tips.
One of the first things to consider is that discussions don’t necessarily end with a winner; The art of effective discussion requires the subtle wisdom to allow both parties to reach common ground, some understanding, something that can only be achieved in the following way:
Because the discussions that are worthwhile are the ones that allow us to reach agreements to live in balance and happiness.