What’s wrong with wanting to please others?In principle wanting to please is not bad, quite the opposite, but another is to need the approval of others for everything.
Getting other people’s approval is just a real issue when you feel that approval is what keeps you going. First of all, because you have to have the support of others, you depend on it, which makes you lose your self-esteem and self. -trust.
- Another problem with seeking constant approval is that it makes you vulnerable to manipulation by others.
- When others find out that you want to please.
- They settle in because they know that you will do whatever it takes to make things happen.
Over time, people who constantly seek the approval of others enter a vicious circle from which it is difficult to get out, not only because they get used to someone validating their decisions, but also because others will press and act knowing that they are. You’re going to need his opinions. The following tips will help you get through this situation, overcome this addiction, gain confidence, safety and start making two decisions of your own.
It’s not easy to say what you think, while there are times when you need to be careful, there are other times when you need to express your opinion, but you have to practice, start by talking to yourself, recognizing these thoughts, seeing that you have an opinion, even if those opinions aren’t what others like.
Practice saying what you think without offending, but respecting yourself, respecting your personal ideologies and aspirations, don’t let the desire to please make you think of others before they think of you.
He can please others without betraying himself. If you don’t think and say what you think, will others have all the power over you?
Constantly seeking the approval of others always means being afraid that others will have a bad opinion of you, it makes you feel vulnerable and a victim of yourself, because you always wonder if others are satisfied with you or not. pleasure, creativity, kindness and spontaneity of life.
Occasionally, you must also please and be proud of yourself, even if not everyone approves of your desires and aspirations, it is not to be selfish, but quite the opposite. A person who is satisfied with himself and who feels good is much more useful to others because they are happier and more willing to live.
Seeking approval ends up being an attempt to acquire and maintain a sense of control. If we can make people happy, because we are what we imagine they want us to be, then we will not be despised or abandoned.
However, you cannot control everyone’s thinking, nor can you please everyone. Regardless of what you do, there will always be someone who disapproves or doesn’t understand your decision. No one has a green ticket that everyone likes, and even if they did, there will always be those who prefer a blue or yellow ticket.
The mindset of a group can force us to do what they believe we should do, but it is not always so, so as not to go against the current, many choose to satisfy the flock, even if it seems wrong.
This leads you to a dynamic in which you move away from others, lose your personality and your ability to make decisions, get rid of it, focus on what you think is right, analyze your philosophy, your goals and be yourself. You don’t like something or some people, why do you want to please them?What do you get from being part of a group like that?
People who are so concerned about each other’s approval allow them to tag them at one end or the other. However, most people don’t make decisions or judge others just because they don’t approve or understand their ways, or because they don’t follow the group model.
Even when you share your opinion, doing what you think is right doesn’t make you label yourself negatively, nor does it cause others to lose the affection they have for you, on the contrary, being yourself is the best way to earn the respect of others. others And if people call you, try to act so that this label is in a category that interests them.