If we asked a lot of people what sex means to them, most would respond in the same way. Today there is an overgenerationalization of sexual intercourse, which consist essentially of penetration, specifically, implicitly, in vaginal penetration.
If we asked this question in almost every country in the world, the answer would certainly be the same. Why? What do most people associate with words? With a practice as specific as vaginal penetration?
- Recalling the origin of the word sex.
- It refers to our status as sexual beings.
- That is.
- Sex has more to do with our gender identity than any other meaning.
From this point of view, talking about sex would encompass a wide range of behaviors, so much so that if we stick to the literal meaning of “sex”, we would talk about all kinds of relationships consisting of two people interacting, because they are sexual beings (hand in hand, having a conversation, a hug, a kiss?).
However, if we rethly regret this term and turn it into “erotic relationships,” everything will become much more meaningful. Etymologically, he? Sexual? It does not refer (only) to what is done in privacy, but as we have already said, it refers to the notion of sexual identity.
That, Eros, present as a prefix in erotic, provides a component of intimacy, will and desire in relationships. Remember that Eros, the god of Greek mythology, was responsible for sexual attraction, and its Roman equivalent is Cupid.
However, even by rephrasing the concept, we continue to associate it with one type of intimate interaction: penetration. Penetration-based relationships are neither the result nor the purpose of intimate interaction.
If this were the case, it would make more sense to call them genital and non-sexual or erotic relationships, but the truth is that if we don’t call them that, it’s because they obviously don’t.
Erotic relationships have so many possibilities that it seems almost ridiculous that only one of them should be taken into account.
Ideas about intimate relationships can be tinged by many social influences. Film and television have taught us that genitalia is the only way to achieve real pleasure.
Pornography has also accentuated this overgeneration of erotic relationships, showing certain dynamics, times, shapes, sizes and attitudes that are not at all representative of what is happening in reality.
If we let ourselves be guided by these influences and do not question them, we will probably live our intimate relationships in frustration.
That’s right, male and female genitalia can fail. This happens in many ways, for many reasons, but they can fail.
What if they fail, is the erotic relationship over, are our erotic relationships so fragile that they depend exclusively on our genitals?
No, of course not, but the overgenerationalization of sexual intercourse, associated with popular belief, indicates that it does, and this produces various types of misunderstandings and difficulties.
Unfortunately it is common for a man who totally or partially loses his erection before or during an erotic relationship, the problem is that his partner attributes this loss of erection to the lack of erotic desire towards him or her.
This tells us a lot about the overvaluation of the genital response; we attribute more validity to genital behavior than to a person’s own testimony of the desire or excitement he or she feels.
The price we pay for this overestimation of sex is very expensive, when we focus on an erotic practice, we despise the rest.
In doing so, we are closed to experiencing unknown sensations that can provide us with equal or more intense pleasures than penetration.
The fact that we open ourselves to the diversity of erotic behaviors helps to improve our self-knowledge and to empower ourselves erotically.
Besides, it’s not true that men and women always want to have this kind of relationship, in fact, it’s not true that we still want or need to reach orgasm.
Sometimes, we may need to have fun in different contexts through different interactions. Ideally, we should have the right level of self-care to enjoy all the pleasures of erotic relationships.
No matter how intense they are, whether they last a long time or whatever, proper sex education should promote this self-knownness, so that people are more independent and free.