Jealousy and passive aggression often go hand in hand; these dimensions are, psychologically, a kind of emotion as complex as it is deadly, in which fear of abandonment, feelings of humiliation and, of course, anger are mixed.
Feeling jealous is something that, as we know, has no age, no gender, no culture, and in turn generates dangerous and destructive situations.
- One thing that draws attention to Shakespeare’s works.
- When we delve into them.
- Is his ability to portray all that kaleidoscope of emotions.
- Traits and situations that define the human being.
Thus, one of his most impressive legacies remains Othello, highlighting above all the character of one of the most unique and also Machiavellian villains: Iago.
Othello’s skillful and malevolent servant was responsible for making him lose his mind, making him believe that Desdemona, his wife, was unfaithful to him. IAGO came to symbolize that obsessive and pernicious inner voice that stokes the fire of jealousy.
It perfectly represented our obsessive and suspicious mind, a mental echo that shapes the root of jealousy, which gradually advances with insistence and falls to the precipice of doom.
William Shakespeare, in fact, regarded Iago as one of his most decisive characters: he dedicated about 1097 verses, almost as much as Hamlet or Richard III.
Jealousy is, as Michel de Montaigne said, a disease of the mind and our worst enemy.
Jealousy and passive aggression are two dimensions that gravitate together, jealous people do not manifest this emotion directly and openly, that is, the person does not approach the couple and tells him with total certainity that he is offended to talk to others, that he feels anger and humiliation when he smiles and spends time with other people.
On the other hand, what is often done is to apply passive aggression, with which, instead of words, censorship, blackmail of secrecy, mysterious threats, continuous contempt, indirect punishments in which silence is used, indifference?
It is a type of aggression that is initially cold, but can sometimes mature into a more active and, of course, harmful aggression.
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There is an eye-catching fact that William Shakespeare himself perfectly represents with the characters of Iago and Othello: jealousy resonates in the person as an alter ego, like an external voice that perches and kidnaps us.
This figure fuels the fear of being abandoned and betrayed, throws us to suspicion and warns us of non-existent dangers, lies, puts signals in our eyes and is sure of crazy ideas that, as a result, become reasonable.
A study by Dr. David DeSteno of the University of California indicates that this voice symbolizes the “threatened self”, that part of us who feels violated and who gradually ends up exhibiting passive-aggressive behaviors.
There are theories that speak, in fact, of a genetic basis in this type of behavior. Jealousy and passive aggression are a kind of dark logic that, according to some psychology and anthropology, is in our genes.
According to this approach, humans are the result of an evolution based on survival and mating. Social competitiveness, added to the fear of being betrayed and left alone, is a type of alarm that triggers a series of emotions and thoughts.
The mind becomes hypervigilant, obsessive and dimensions such as anger take hold of it, hence behavioral aggression and the obvious risk that this entails.
The key to dealing with jealousy is to understand a very clear fact: absolute and lasting fidelity does not exist, you could tell the jealous that to love is to trust, that to want is not to possess and that a healthy affection leaves out anger, the need for domination and hypervigilance.
However, sometimes we can face behaviors based on pathological jealousy (PC), in which a number of disorders related to delirium occur, in these situations it is essential to resort to psychological therapy, so in the face of the question of whether jealousy can be reduced, it is necessary to understand a simple aspect: each person is unique.
We can focus therapy on reducing control behaviors (such as looking at the partner’s mobile phone), in addition to disabling obsessive thoughts and enhancing self-esteem and anxiety derived from the fear of abandonment.
Above all, however, there must be a clear will of the patient in relation to change, towards the clear awareness that jealousy is not compatible with a healthy romantic relationship.