Passive-aggressive friends are bad travel companions. However, sometimes it is difficult to leave them behind, say goodbye, explain that nothing is easy with them, that friendship hurts and that we feel clearly aggrieved by the way they are, if it is true that it is difficult to manage this. kind of relationship, that’s something we need to consider.
So what is more correct in these situations?Well, in such situations, there is no one-way formula.
- In fact.
- There are different subtypes within the passive-aggressive personality.
- So we can deal with people with more harmful behaviors and others who are a little less so.
The truth is that, despite the existence of different types, living with a passive-aggressive person means having to endure, almost daily, behaviors full of insecurity, ambivalence, resentment and even hidden aggressions.
Sometimes they can be very subtle, but when you share time with this type of profile, these subtleties end and hurt like a pin.
In any case, it is better to know how to react, having a passive-aggressive friend involves, among other things, living the conflict almost continuously and experiencing a slow demoralization, however, the expectation of a friendship is the exact opposite.
“Fear usually manifests itself in two ways: through aggression or submission. ” – Paulo Coelho-
The passive-aggressive personality has been described in psychology for more than a century, in fact, it was the Austrian psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich who first spoke of her shortly after World War II, according to him, was the most common personality type in the population.
In addition, a short time later, this profile appeared in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), being classified as personality disorder.
However, in the latest versions of this manual, it is no longer considered a “problem” to simply understand as a form of personality, which in some cases may appear with other conditions, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder or dependent personality disorder.
On the other hand, and it is well known, this type of behavior can appear in many people in our immediate environment: parents, couples, partners, friends?However, there is a curious fact: it is easier to identify this behavior. others than in us.
We must keep in mind: we are all likely to have this harmful dynamic
When we talk about passive-aggressive friends, the subject is a little more complicated, the reason?Many times what brings us together to these people is time and affection, we may have lived many things with you, and until we have become accustomed to being patient, forgiving, and giving third and fourth chances.
However, we know that something is wrong with them and we do not know how to name it, so let us see what characterizes this type of profile, for this we will be inspired by the works of Theodore Millon.
What exactly does it mean to be cunning? This term refers to a type of clearly distorted behavior. Here are some examples:
Passive-aggressive friends have abrasive behaviors, those that hurt and leave an emotional mark. This means that your treatment is often harmful; they use an apparent moral superiority to judge and criticize us; soon after, they are sumissive and dependent.
One phrase that defines them perfectly is “with you, but without you. “They need to control us, be above us to oversee all aspects of our lives, but at the same time, they can’t support our opinion of what they do or don’t do.
Similarly, it is common that at first they are full of energy and positivity, and hours later they are an abyss of resentment and suffering.
Passive-aggressive friends see problems in every situation, a mistake in every detail, a speck of dust on every shiny crystal, something like that makes us, for example, unable to share our joys with them, because if there is one thing they are experts in, it is to end dreams, hopes and morals.
In addition, this type of personality is very skilled when it comes to using victimization, they also wear glasses in which they only see themselves and their own distorted reality.
Passive-aggressive friends can demoralize us and completely distort the concept of friendship. We should not get used to this kind of behavior; on the contrary, we can react using certain strategies:
Ideally, this type of personality has professional help, since they do not always take this step, we will try to protect our psychological well-being, remembering that we face very harmful behaviors.