Talking about passive violence remains paradoxical. Violent violence leads us to an active position, so, in principle, these would be two concepts that are in contraposed, however, in our day-to-day lives, we meet again and again people who, without raising their voices or saying strong or harmful words, make us feel attacked. There are also situations that work the same way.
Those who are passively abused experience undefinable discomfort and silent irritation; at the same time, it usually become an agent of the same mechanism, this happens not only with individuals, but also with groups.
- “There are only two forces in the world: the sword and the spirit.
- In the long run.
- Will the sword always be conquered by the spirit?Napoleon Bonaparte?”.
Passive violence or any passive-aggressive attitude can be defined as unconscious force, is the result of the inability or inability to resolve a conflict with authority, in one or more of its various manifestations, or with an adverse situation. a sense of helplessness or helplessness that becomes resignation, however, this resignation is full of anger and frustration, which will eventually manifest itself indirectly.
The most obvious examples of passive violence can be found in many teenagers, for example, the father or mother tells you to put your chaos in order, and they never obey.
It’s also very common in young children, who throw a tantrum and, if you don’t give in to your whim, throw themselves to the ground to hurt themselves (self-harm) or, in other cases, a few days. Then they break the most expensive porcelain in the house . . . inadvertently.
With adults there are also thousands of examples of passive violence, for example, when you talk to someone who says they haven’t heard it, or when they give you a scathing critique, disguised as advice or suggestion, or when they put you between the sword and the wall and gently ask you to decide. And a lot of other things.
Passive violence often manifests itself in situations involving power relations, it is precisely this power that prevents or limits the expression of aggressive feelings, so there is a false resignation, which results in passive violence.
Authority figures can also be a constant goal of passive violence: “first-time” parents, but also bosses, teachers, doctors, etc. Sometimes they don’t officially have a position of power, but they have that connotation for each other. when one of the partners has more control or influence over a relationship.
In turn, these power figures often act with passive violence, they know that those under their authority are not free to react to their excesses, for example, when the boss asks you to work only one more hour a day, for O’s sake when your partner tells you he needs to help you, because you alone couldn’t accomplish a certain task.
Passive violence occurs by creating guilt, disqualifying, humiliating or using the other, even indirectly. Sometimes it is very difficult to understand what is going on because usually everything is done through soft phrases and good manners, this is almost never conscious.
Many passive violence behaviors are transmitted and nurtured within society. When you are on the street and a beggar begs for alms, you are often unwilling or unable to help. And when you leave, the poor man says: “God bless you. ” Actually, he doesn’t want God to bless him, but he wants you to “go to hell. ” That’s the message between the lines.
Explicit or passive abusive behaviors generate responses with the same connotation: a stressed boss allows some employees to take much longer to do their job. An authoritarian teacher motivates rebellious behavior, hidden or not. The dominant mother can give birth to “disorderly” children. A politician who buys votes feeds citizens who don’t pay taxes.
The biggest problem with these passive violence behaviors is that, because they are not explicit, they create confusion and easily escape consciousness. When he denounces the teenager who did not respond to a request, he said, “I told you. If you tell your boss that your assessment is unfair, he probably recites some doctrines on discipline and effectiveness, and your partner can become a victim or be very surprised when you tell him he treats you like an idiot.
We must learn to end these manipulation mechanisms. It is important to resolve conflicts as soon as they arise so that they do not motivate or fuel this type of violence. That doesn’t mean you have to say everything you can think of without putting a filter on it. It is simply about increasing our ability to communicate, in a clear and quiet way, everything we do not like.